What Makes You Stronger
by MuffinLove03
Summary: A freak tragedy brings Arnold and Helga back together during the summer after high school graduation. How will they cope with the whole new set of challenges and heartaches that face them?
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N: Hey guys! So, I got this idea about the same time I got the idea for I Will Remember You. I promise, I don't have a thing for Arnold being in the hospital but it just seemed like a good plotline. I was gonna work on this other story called Kismet but decided to save that for another time after I revamp it. This story is gonna be intense and I can't wait to do it so I'll just shut up now and show you what I have so far. The chapter is a little short but I think I make up for it with drama. Enjoy!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

It was all Helga could do to keep her foot from holding the gas pedal tight against the floor of the car. Her heart was in her stomach as she made her way through the busy streets to the Hillwood Emergency Care Center.

It was a Saturday afternoon and it seemed that everyone was out and about. Perfect timing for Helga to be in a rush.

She'd been working the cash register at the local bookstore when the vibrating cell phone in her pocket made her jump. Last year before she started her senior year of high school, Big Bob had insisted she get a part-time job since Olga had gotten one _way _before then. Patakis were self-sufficient and hard workers and he wouldn't have any daughter of his be anything less.

Helga handed a receipt to her customer and quickly checked her phone under the front counter. It was from Gerald.

**Emergency. Call me ****_now._**

Ever since he'd started dating her best friend, Phoebe, in tenth grade, Helga had grown to appreciate Gerald as a friend. It was weird hanging out with him and not seeing Arnold around but time had allowed her to grow accustomed to that. It broke her heart when Arnold moved to San Lorenzo with his parents during the summer before their first year of high school but they separated on good terms after dating for a year and a half beforehand. They kept in contact through letters but it wasn't the same thing – talking to someone every few weeks when you were so used to seeing them every day.

The other customers in the store didn't look like they were ready to ring up yet so Helga called over her manager, Marie, to cover her register while she stepped outside to call Gerald.

"What's up, Tall-Hair Boy?" Some habits died hard.

"Helga, you have to get to the hospital right now," Gerald's voice was urgent and Helga didn't like the sound of it.

"What's going on?" Helga's tone turned serious and her brow furrowed. "Is Phoebe okay?"

"She's fine," Gerald paused. "But Arnold's here,"

"_What?_ What is _he _doing here?" Helga was taken aback. One minute Arnold's in a different country, then all of a sudden he's in Hillwood? In the _hospital_? "Is he okay?"

"Just get here now! I'll explain when you do. It's bad, though," Gerald rushed.

Helga was a ball of adrenaline. "Okay, I'm coming,"

Helga ran back into the store and told Marie the extent of what she knew about the situation as she hastily started to go through the end of shift process on the register.

"Just go. I'll take care of it," Marie had said and Helga was out the door.

She'd parked her father's blue car against the curb outside and she fumbled with the keys before finally managing to get the right one into the lock. She collapsed in the seat and allowed herself to take a deep breath before turning the engine on and skillfully pulling out of her parallel park job.

A heavy influx of thoughts and questions bombarded her brain as she waited agonizingly at every red light she came across.

What could have happened to Arnold? Why was he in Hillwood and why was he in the hospital?

_Oh God, I hope he's okay. Please, _please,_ let him be okay…_

Helga's breath was shallow and her pupils dilated. Everything about her was ready for action and she was hyper-alert – more so than she ever remembered being before. The hair on her arms was on end and every muscle in her body felt tight. Yet at the same time, she felt a deep worry in the pit of her stomach that made her want to sink down into her seat and forget about the world.

The ten minute drive to the hospital seemed to have taken an hour. Helga's brakes screeched to a halt in the closest parking spot she could find and she raced toward the automatic sliding doors of the emergency center entrance. She paused for a second, impatient, as the doors opened casually, not realizing how hurried she was.

She ran to the information desk, darting her gaze around to room as she searched for a familiar face.

"Helga!" Phoebe cried out and rushed to her best friend, wrapping her thin, docile arms around Helga's frame. That wasn't a good sign.

Helga looked to Gerald who had come up behind Phoebe. "What's going on?" She managed to get out, a fire still burning behind her eyes.

"The doctors have Arnold back there now," He said, his face equally worried as he pulled Phoebe close to him. "A snake bit him,"

"A snake? What snake? Why here?" Questions rolled out of Helga's mouth as she moved from worried to confused.

"Apparently this place has the best anti-venom warehouse in the Northern hemisphere," Gerald shrugged.

Helga was starting to feel impatient. "Why the heck wouldn't they take him somewhere closer if it's so bad?"

"That's the thing," Phoebe spoke up, revealing her face as she pulled away from the comfort of Gerald' chest. "No one has the anti-venom for this snake because it's a very rare species. They have a department upstairs that specializes in developing anti-venom and they're working on making one for Arnold right now but in the meantime, I'm afraid Arnold's condition is quite critical,"

Helga's heart buried itself in the bottom of her stomach. "How critical?" She gulped, afraid to know.

Gerald and Phoebe just looked at her and Helga could tell by the pain in their eyes that it was beyond critical. She became frantic.

"Where is he?" She looked in their eyes with desperation but didn't give them a chance to respond. She turned and slammed her hands down on the sign-in clipboard as she leaned over the information desk and practically screamed into the receptionist's face.

"Arnold Shortman, where is he?"

The nurse blinked, stunned.

Helga groaned in anger and frustration. "Do you understand English? Where _is he_?!"

"Helga!" Gerald put a hand on her shoulder and she whipped around. "Come on, we'll take you,"

Helga followed Phoebe and Gerald through a set of double doors as she tried to steady her heart rate. If it sped up anymore, she'd have her own reason for admittance. They rounded a corner and passed through another set of double-doors and Helga found herself in the middle of a medical bee-hive. Doctors and nurses were scurrying around, yelling indistinguishable medical terms and orders with urgency plastered on their faces.

They stopped in front of three-walled room with a curtain for its fourth barrier. The curtain was closed and Helga could hear people bustling around behind it. Their voices were a buzz in her head. A window by the curtain allowed for the possibility of a peak.

"Helga, don't," Phoebe grabbed Helga's arm as she saw her friend heading for the window. "I don't know if you can handle—"

Helga jerked her arm out of Phoebe's faint grasp and peered into the window. There had to be at least five or six people in there, all of them working on or around Arnold. She hadn't seen him in so long and, despite the pictures he'd sent, she felt her heart skip a beat at his face. His eyes were closed and his blond mane was still wild and untamed but light sideburns now adorned his otherwise freshly shaved face.

Gerald and Phoebe moved up behind Helga and they all watched as the doctors checked IVs, studied the readings on machines, and hovered around his right calf. When one doctor stepped aside, Helga saw the damage. They had cut off the bottom half of his pants leg, now revealing the snake bite. Some blood surrounded the wound but that wasn't the worst part. Arnold's calf was swollen to about three times the size it should be and the area around the bite was turning a dark purplish-black. Helga felt nauseous.

Without warning, Arnold's body started to convulse, shaking violently as the doctors tried to steady him for an injection. Helga watched in horror as Arnold's eyes lolled about and vomit dribbled profusely from his mouth. Her legs felt weak and she felt like she was being strangled. The air seemed so thin and she couldn't get enough. The doctors were still trying to find a vein for the needle on his thrashing body when all of a sudden, the movement stopped and Arnold lay limp on the bed. Up on one of the screens, the graph monitoring Arnold's heart rate went from sharp peaks and troughs to a steady line as a long, eerie beep rang out against the walls.

Helga stumbled back. "I… I can't watch this," She looked around, wild-eyed. She braced herself against a cart carrying various pieces of medical equipment, taking a breath.

"Helga," Phoebe approached Helga with tears running down her own face but Helga didn't respond. Instead, she stumbled over to the nurses' station and collapsed in front of a trashcan to vomit.

She coughed and leaned back, taking a breath. The reality of the situation hit her once more and she gripped the edge of the can again, expelling whatever remained in her stomach until all she had left was bile. Helga hung her head over the can as she sobbed, her body heaving and deep breaths dragging painfully into her lungs as she sputtered. Her long blonde hair formed a veil around her face, shielding prying eyes from her breakdown.

Phoebe dropped to the floor beside Helga and pulled her best friend's hair back, leaning her head against Helga's shoulder before Gerald followed them to the floor. He wrapped his arms around both girls and held on tight, fighting the tears that threatened behind his own eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: I'm so glad everyone seems to be liking the story so far! It's Midterms time, of course, so I can't post super frequently but I'm happy to present chapter 2! Enjoy!]**

_Dear Helga,_

_Congratulations! I'm glad to hear things are going so well for you! I know Hillwood University has an amazing English program and I think you'll love it there. I told you they'd be fools to not let you in. Your poetry is amazing and you have more talent than you give yourself credit for. Just make sure you stay focused so that you don't lose that scholarship. I'm sure your dad would have a conniption if that happened. Even though he can be a jerk (just being honest!), I hope you guys are starting to have a better relationship. _

_San Lorenzo is the same as always. I'm so glad I'm done with home-schooling. Don't get me wrong, my mom is great but I miss the old days… way old, like PS. 118 "old days", ya know? I'm thinking I might try to come back to Hillwood in a year or so for college but it really depends on a lot of stuff. My parents and I have been helping the indigenous people down here. Yesterday I helped my dad and a few of the other men in the village build a house. If only you knew how many splinters I have now. It's ridiculous!_

_As always, I miss you. Maybe now that it's summer I can come visit the city. I'll have to talk to my parents about it but I'd love to see everyone again. Especially you. _

_Keep taking care of yourself and try not to hurt anyone in the process. _

_Love,_

_Arnold_

That was the last letter Helga received, about two weeks ago.

Helga was now sitting in a small corner waiting area with Gerald, Phoebe, and Arnold's parents, Miles and Stella. The two of them had been upstairs in the anti-venom department when Arnold flatlined. Arnold's dad had managed to catch the snake that bit Arnold and he'd wrangled it into a cooler. It was a good thing, too, because otherwise there would've been no telling how they'd get the anti-venom.

. . . . . . . .

When Miles and Stella came through the double doors and found Helga, Phoebe, and Gerald in an emotional upheaval on the floor, Stella had gone into super-mom mode. She demanded to see her son and the nurses, along with her husband, had to hold her back from barging into the room. That outburst only lasted a minute, however, because after that rush of adrenaline, tears flooded her face and she clung to Miles for support.

Everyone outside of the curtain could only hear the buzzing sound of the shock paddles as the doctors attempted to bring back Arnold's heartbeat.

"Clear!" They yelled and there was a loud _thump_ sound as the current moved through Arnold and his body jumped a few inches off the table. After a few more tries, they were finally able to get a pulse back and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Helga heard a lot of movement coming from the room and suddenly the curtain was yanked open as the doctors rushed out with Arnold on a gurney.

"Where are you taking him?" Miles yelled after the doctors as they passed. He and Stella jogged after them and Helga, Phoebe and Gerald quickly scrambled to their feet to follow.

One of the doctors, Dr. Monroe, fell behind and stopped to talk to them.

"Arnold's leg has become necrotic. You remember we spoke of this possibility earlier, correct?"

Stella and Miles nodded with concern in their eyes as Helga, Phoebe and Gerald came up behind them.

Dr. Monroe looked anxiously over his shoulder in the direction the other doctors had taken Arnold. He turned back to the group and continued.

"We almost lost him just now. The venom is inflicting considerable damage to his tissues and his nervous system. We're holding it off as long as we can but Arnold needs emergency surgery to remove the necrotic tissue,"

Stella felt weak and her eyes began to water as she clutched at Miles' shirt. She knew what they needed to do.

Miles looked from the doctor to his wife and back again. "So what does that mean?"

"It means," Stella lifted her eyes to make contact with her husband. "The tissue in the area around the bite is starting to die. That's going to poison Arnold if they don't remove it," She turned to the doctor. "Tell me you aren't going to amputate my son's leg," Her eyes were pleading.

"We will salvage as much as possible but the damage is extensive. I'm going upstairs now to check on the anti-venom progress. Say prayers, send happy thoughts, do whatever it is you all do because now is definitely the time to do it. And if and when Arnold comes out of this, he's going to need all of you to support him," The doctor gestured to all five of them. "If you need anything, check with the nurses' station. Otherwise, I'll be back as soon as I can to update you," And with that, Dr. Monroe hurried back down the corridor, turning a sharp corner and disappearing from sight.

. . . . . . .

Now Helga was trying to keep her mind busy as she sat in the waiting room with her friends and Arnold's parents. Miles was pacing back and forth while Stella sat staring at the patterned carpet. In a row of chairs across from Stella, Gerald had his arm around Phoebe and Helga was impatiently checking the time on her phone every five minutes. No one was really talking save for idle chit chat about the cholesterol medication commercial that was playing on an overhead TV screen.

She recited Arnold's letter to herself in her mind.

_Oh Arnold, I wanted so badly to see you but not like this… _

She felt like her heart was on fire, consuming her every breath and movement, and she wanted to shrivel up and pretend this wasn't happening. She was terrified, anxious, and miserable but she found herself zoning out, her vision forming a tunnel as the noises around her became distorted whispers. She shook her head, snapping out of it, and reached into her pocket for a stick of gum to neutralize the acidic taste in her mouth leftover from vomiting.

"I just can't believe this is happening," Gerald broke the silence. He was sitting with his head in his hands, elbows propped up on his knees.

Helga started to speak, a question directed at Miles and Stella, but her voice cracked from disuse. "How did-" She cleared her throat. "How did this happen?"

Miles looked up from his wife who was cradled in the crook of his arm. He sighed.

"It happened so fast," His voice was melancholic as he addressed Helga.

Stella sat up, putting on a strong face and wiping her eyes. "Arnold and I were out in the jungle collecting medicinal herbs for a treatment I've been working on,"

She went on to explain the whole story to the three young adults.

_It was a hot morning in San Lorenzo. Arnold had been sitting on the steps of their little wooden house reading a book as Stella diligently worked at her medical table. She'd been grinding various herbs with her mortar and pestle when she realized she'd run out of a particular type of leaf that could only be found near the river. Arnold volunteered to go with his mom to help her find it, leaving a note for Miles so he'd know where they went when he returned from his hike with Eduardo._

_They came to a still part of the river and Stella spotted the leaves she needed on the opposite bank. They were attached to a tree that hung over the river's edge and Arnold waded into the shallow water to retrieve them. He was plucking leaves from the tree when all of a sudden, he cried out in pain. He almost doubled over, momentarily losing his balance, but instead reached down into the water, clutching for his leg. Stella jumped into the water, rushing to her son and pulling him back to the other side. When his leg surfaced, she rolled up his pants leg and immediately knew what had happened. Though she hadn't seen it, she knew some type of water snake had bit him.  
_

_Arnold was writhing and groaning in pain, his face locked in a grimace, as Stella pulled off her outer shirt, revealing a plain white tank top underneath. She tore her shirt into strips and wrapped one tightly around Arnold's leg, a few inches above the bite site. It might not have been enough to keep any venom from getting into his bloodstream but it could at least, _hopefully_, slow it down._

Miles was rubbing his wife's back as she stopped telling her story. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "And then, of course, we got back to the house and Miles ended up going out and catching the snake," She turned to him. "I still don't know how you managed to do that by yourself," Then she addressed the group again. "One thing led to another and now we're here,"

Helga, Phoebe, and Gerald sat quietly, soaking in this new information. Gerald put an arm around Phoebe who nuzzled into his embrace while Helga readjusted herself restlessly over and over. She propped an ankle up on her other knee, shaking her foot violently as she tried desperately to hold onto any string of hope she could find.

She tried distracting herself with the artwork in the room, seeing how long it took her to identify the artists but she quickly gave up, diverting her attention to a commercial for thyroid medication on the TV. When that failed to captivate her, she rifled through magazines that had been left haphazardly on the end table beside her.

A myriad of worries and questions raced through her mind, so fast she could barely keep up with them. What was going to happen to Arnold? Would he survive? And if he did, what was going to happen with his leg? How much were the doctors taking off?

Helga cringed, thinking about the doctors removing the dead flesh from his body. He was going to have a hard road ahead of him if he pulled through this.

She wondered what was going to happen when Arnold was no longer unconscious. She dreaded the thought of seeing him writhe in pain before her. She wasn't sure she could handle that. In a way, it had been a blessing that he hadn't been awake when Helga saw him earlier.

Now, all she wanted to do was hold his hand. A tear slid silently down her cheek as she conjured sweet thoughts of Arnold, smiling at her, walking hand-in-hand through the park. Her heart overflowed with love for him, even though they hadn't seen each other in such a long time. They had a deep connection that couldn't be broken by time and distance. Though Helga wasn't necessarily head-over-heels for him, given the amount of time they'd been separated, she still felt a deep, unexplainable love for the boy.

Helga was jolted out of her thoughts when Dr. Monroe stepped into the waiting area.


	3. Chapter 3

**[A/N: This chapter is just a ton of emotion. That's all I have to say :) Hope you like it! Thanks for all the support!]**

Dr. Monroe pinched the space between his eyes, appearing very tired when he walked into the waiting area. He was wearing light blue scrubs and a white medical mask pulled down off of his mouth so he could speak intelligibly.

Helga, along with everyone else, jumped to attention at the sight of him.

"How is he? How's our boy?" Miles asked.

"Arnold is stable. The anti-venom was ready just in time. His vital signs are slowly returning to normal and we're monitoring his progress closely," Dr. Monroe explained.

Gerald leaned forward. "What about his leg?"

Dr. Monroe sighed. "We saved as much as we could but in order to combat the necrosis, we had to remove a portion of both the soleus and the gastrocnemius,"

Stella nodded but everyone else just gave the doctor a perplexed look.

"Those are parts of his calf," Phoebe whispered to Gerald and Helga.

Dr. Monroe continued. "We've moved him to a room and you can go see him but be aware he hasn't woken up yet. It shouldn't take long for that to happen, though,"

Everyone sat in silence, trying to soak in the information the doctor had given them. Arnold had lost part of his leg. How much exactly was yet to be determined.

Helga picked at a hangnail that was making its way up her thumb, trying to distract herself from the heavy feeling deep in her stomach. She swallowed, returning her attention to Dr. Monroe.

"Follow me," He motioned toward the exit. "I'll take you all to him,"

Miles, Stella, Gerald and Phoebe stood up. Gerald stretched his legs a bit after having been sitting for so long.

"You coming, Helga?" Phoebe looked down at Helga who was wringing her hands together in her lap.

Helga breathed in deeply. "Yeah," She stood up. "I'm coming,"

. . . . . . . .

Outside of Arnold's hospital room, they filed in one by one. Helga stopped short, paying attention to random details. The room number by the door frame. The raised Braille letters written underneath it. The beige paint on the door. The white linoleum had thin yellow, red, and blue stripes across each tile, creating a seemingly inexplicable pattern.

Helga followed everyone else into the hospital room but didn't dare to look up. Her eyes latched onto the heels of Gerald's red and black tennis shoes, scuffed from years of baseball on Gerald Field.

Once in the room, Helga slowly drew up her gaze and she fought to keep her face from crumpling when she rested her eyes on Arnold.

His eyes were still closed and he was lying on his back. He had a number of IVs hooked up to his arms, along with some other wires that appeared to be hooked to the heart monitor and some other machines. The starchy white hospital blanket was covering the one thing she didn't want to see – his leg. She swallowed hard, staring at the blanket in the place where she believed his lower leg rested underneath.

The voices in the room were mere hollow whispers as she stared at Arnold's lowered eyelids.

_Oh Arnold…For once, I don't even have words for how I'm feeling right now…_

When she felt her eyes attempting to water, she blinked furiously and rubbed her face, furrowing her brow to ward off the weakness. She tuned in to the conversation happening around her.

"Stay as long as you like. It's up to him but it shouldn't take long for him to wake up. If you have any more questions, you know where to find me," Dr. Monroe nodded toward Stella.

Miles shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you so much,"

Stella sat down by Arnold's bedside and caressed her son's forehead gently. She pushed a lock of his cornflower hair back off his face and gave a pained smile.

No one dared to lift up the blanket and look at Arnold's leg. Dr. Monroe had said the portion they removed was significant but not so much that they had to take the whole thing. Though curiosity beckoned, fear was overpowering.

Gerald stood with Phoebe on the other side of the bed, his arm draped behind her back as they stared at their friend in silence.

Miles stood behind his wife, hands gently rubbing her shoulders and eyes on his boy.

Helga was at the foot of the bed, arms crossed tight against her chest and her lips pursed. Her brow was furrowed as she did everything in her power to keep from breaking down. After the way she fell apart earlier, everyone was prepared for Helga to lose it once again but she fought tooth and nail with herself to maintain control.

The room was silent aside from the steady beat of Arnold's heart rate on the monitor. The air had a sterile scent to it that made Helga's nose itch. She wrapped her hands around the bar at the foot of the bed and sighed quietly, hanging her head. It hurt too much to look at him.

Helga wasn't sure how much time had passed before Gerald and Phoebe left but it had been a while. Arnold was still asleep and Gerald had to take Phoebe to work. Stella promised to call and update them as soon as Arnold woke up.

It was getting close to dinner time when Stella and Miles decided to head down to the cafeteria for some food.

"You're welcome to join us, sweetie," Stella rested a hand on Helga's shoulder.

Though they hadn't spoken since Arnold moved away, Stella remembered Helga and thought quite fondly of her. Arnold talked about her all the time at home in San Lorenzo and how could she forget her son's first real girlfriend? Arnold had told his mother all about Helga – everything from the bullying in elementary school to the way they finally started dating to some aspects of Helga's home life. He would never provide explicit details about the strife Helga faced at home but Stella knew enough to know that there was a lot of depth to this girl. The surface wasn't a good indication of what lay beneath.

Helga shook her head gently. "I'm okay," She looked back at Arnold. Her expression was soft, vulnerable. "You guys go ahead and I'll get somethin' later,"

Miles put a hand on Stella's shoulder, indicating they should give Helga some time alone with Arnold. They stepped out into the hall and pulled the door closed behind them.

Once they were alone, Helga took a few slow steps to the chair by Arnold's bed. She stared at the seat for a moment before she sat down and cautiously raised her gaze to settle on Arnold's face once again.

Helga felt awkward and unsure of herself. She didn't want to touch the wrong thing and cause a tube to become constricted or accidentally knock an IV out. She swallowed, prudently leaning forward as she rested an elbow on the mattress.

Arnold's hair was tousled but pushed straight back off his face thanks to Stella. Helga conjured images of Arnold's bright green orbs resting under his eyelids. His face was relaxed and his pink lips looked soft but void of any moisture. Helga took note of the tiny follicles on his face where facial hair had once grown. He must have shaved recently. Messy blond sideburns stopped at the base of his ear and Helga reached a hand out to touch them. It was so bizarre seeing a post-puberty Arnold up close.

The rough texture of his sideburns pricked her fingers as she ran her finger down the length of them.

"You sure look different, Football-head," Helga spoke softly as she picked up Arnold's hand, cradling it in hers. She played wistfully with his fingers, bending the knuckles before bringing them to her face to kiss. A tear broke free and glistened as it slid down her face.

She massaged the top of his hand with her thumb, avoiding the IV and furrowing her brow as she spoke. "I know you said you wanted to visit Hillwood but did you have to make such a spectacle of yourself?" Her brow relaxed. "_Criminy_," She breathed and looked back up at him.

Helga set Arnold's hand back down and scooted her chair closer to the bed. She propped an elbow up higher on the bed and reached around, running Arnold's hair through her fingers.

"You still don't like to comb your hair, I see," The golden locks felt soft against her fingertips. "That's okay, I guess…"

Helga continued to analyze Arnold's appearance, talking for the sake of talking in order to keep from crying.

"You're in for a lot of crap, Arnold," Helga sighed as she combed her fingers through Arnold's hair. "I don't know what you're gonna have to do exactly but I'll be here. Every night until the morn and every moment after," Helga retracted her hand and sat back, running her hands through her own hair. Her hair was down, forming loose curls at the bottom where it rested just past her collarbone.

"God, I missed you," She leaned forward again, crossing her arms on the bed and staring hard at the IV piercing the top of Arnold's hand. She picked it up once again and gingerly pulled it to her chest, holding it against her heart.

Whenever the room grew quiet, it made Helga more uncomfortable. Silence made it all seem more real. How could Arnold be lying in this hospital bed? And to think, he almost died. He kind of did die, didn't he? If his heart stopped? Either way, it all felt too surreal.

"What was that song you used to sing," Helga's brow furrowed in thought once again. "I called you a dweeb for it but I really thought you were the cutest guy in the word," She smirked.

"I guess that's the story of our whole relationship right there, summed up in one sentence…" Helga shrugged, laughing a little to herself. "I think I remember though,"

Helga returned Arnold's hand to the bed, still holding it between her own two hands, as she started to sing under her breath. She made mocking faces, embarrassed by her own voice but comfortable in Arnold's presence.

"_You are my sunshine… my only sunshine… you make me happy…" _Helga choked a little and grinned back a new wave of emotion as she slowly made her way through the song. "_… when skies… are grey… you'll never know… dear…" _Her voice started to crack and tears brimmed at the corners of her eyes but she smiled through it, rubbing Arnold's hand with her thumb. "_…how much I-I… love… you… please don't t-take… my sun…shine… away,"_

She finished and rubbed the tears from her eyes, smiling sheepishly at Arnold's sleeping form.

"Now who's the dweeb?" She chuckled at her own expense and let out a deep breath.

Stella and Miles returned and Helga stood up, quickly wiping away any excess tears.

"I'll be back," She said as she brushed past them toward the door.

Stella stopped her. "You really should eat something, honey," Her eyes were filled with concern and Helga's heart ached. This must be what it felt like to have a loving, attentive parent. Arnold was so lucky to have them.

Helga forced a smile. "I know," She placed a hand on the doorknob, heading out. "I'll be right back,"

She made her way to the bathroom and turned the cold water knob on the faucet. Helga gasped at the sensation as she splashed the water up at her face, trying to wipe her tears, and her pain, away. She looked up in the mirror, breathing slowly as she felt her heavy heart like a weight in her chest.

Still feeling like she was in a dazed fog, like this whole situation was just a bad dream, Helga yanked a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall and dried her face. She tossed the balled up paper towel into the trashcan and was making her way back to Arnold's room when she saw Stella in the hallway.

"Helga!" She rushed toward her. "He's waking up. Come on!"


	4. Chapter 4

**[A/N: This update is a little on the shorter side! I'm sorry! School is insane right now :(. Poop. Anyway, I wanted to give you guys ****_something_**** since I haven't updated in a bit and who knows when I'll get my next chance. It's like these professors think college is about doing homework or something. Don't they know I have fanfics to write!? Criminy... Anywho, enjoy!]**

Helga and Stella ran back down the corridor toward Arnold's hospital room, stopping suddenly at the doorway.

Helga took deep breaths. Her breathing was haggard and her heart-rate was up, though not solely because of her sprint.

Stepping into the room, Helga could see Arnold's eyes slowly fluttering open. Miles was standing next to the bed, his gaze locked on his son.

Arnold turned his head, slowly opening his eyes and looking around groggily. He tried to speak but his voice was dry and it cracked.

Helga held back, watching intently as Stella moved in closer to Arnold.

"We're here, sweetie," She picked up his hand and gently rubbed the top of it. "You're okay,"

Arnold swallowed, clearing his throat. When he finally spoke, Helga was taken aback by how deep his voice had gotten. She hadn't heard him speak in years so it threw her off a little bit.

"Where am I-" Arnold tried to sit up but all of a sudden, pain surged through his body. "Arghhhhhhh!"

His body tensed and he clutched the edges of the bed tightly. Gritting his teeth, his face locked in a grimace as he began to writhe in pain.

"What is it?" Miles darted panicked eyes across Arnold's form. "What's going on?"

"My _leg_," Arnold groaned as he reached for his leg, ripping the blanket away and exposing his heavily bandaged calf. Stella grabbed his arm as Miles replaced the blanket.

"I know," Stella tried to soothe her son before turning back to Helga. "Go get a nurse, Helga!"

Helga slipped out of the room without a word to find an available nurse.

"Helga's here?" Arnold looked up at his mom, his face still crumpled with pain.

"Shhhhh," She caressed his forehead, pushing his hair back. "Yes, she is,"

Helga returned with one of the nurses who came in calmly, less panicked than everyone else in the room.

"It's good to see you're awake now, Mr. Shortman. You gave us quite a scare," Her voice was pleasant as she checked Arnold's machines. "I'm going to increase your morphine a little bit; that should take care of the pain," She adjusted something on a bag hanging above Arnold's bed. "If you need anything else, I'm Nurse Sandy and I'm at the station just across the hall," Nurse Sandy nodded at Arnold's parents and walked out of the room. Helga watched her go, biting her lip nervously before returning her attention back to Arnold.

"What's going on?" Arnold's gaze darted between his parents. He still hadn't noticed Helga as she stood toward the back of the room, taking in the whole situation.

"You were bit by that snake, Arnold. Remember?" Stella picked up his hand once again.

"Yeah," Arnold shifted, wincing at the pain in his leg. Thankfully the morphine was already starting to take effect. "Where are we? Are we in _Hillwood_?"

"Yes, sweetie," Stella soothed.

"But, why? I don't understand," Arnold looked around, trying to grasp the situation at hand. With Stella beside him, Helga was conveniently out of his field of view.

Miles put a hand on Arnold's shoulder. "You needed a specific type of anti-venom, Arnold. The snake that got you was a rare breed. We got you here just in time,"

Arnold shifted his gaze down to his lap, soaking in as much of this new information as he could handle. "Why is my leg bandaged like that?" He looked up at Stella, then to Miles.

Stella looked up at her husband, unsure of how to tell Arnold what happened to his leg. Miles returned her look with one of equal uncertainty.

"Your leg…" Stella began, taking a breath and furrowing her brow as she searched for words. "Sweetie, your snakebite," She paused. "It was becoming necrotic…a lot of tissue around it was dying and the doctors couldn't repair damage like that. In order to keep you alive, they had to remove what had died,"

Arnold's eyes grew wide. "What?" His eyes darted back down to his leg, anxiety creeping into his chest. "What do you mean they _removed _it? How much did they remove?"

Miles pulled up a chair and sat down, approaching Arnold at eye-level. "They had to do it, son," He put a hand on Arnold's arm. "It was the only way to save your life,"

"Oh _God_," Arnold ran his hands roughly through his hair and leaned back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying his best to process this information.

Meanwhile, Stella turned around and motioned for Helga to come over. She had been standing against the back wall by the door, arms crossed and holding in every ounce of pain she was feeling. Seeing Arnold in pain, seeing him stricken with such a panic made her feel like her own heart was being ripped from her chest. She quietly drew near and into Arnold's view.

"Helga," He looked up at her and for a moment, forgot about everything else.

She shuffled her feet, eyes cast down before looking up at him sheepishly. "Hey Football-head, how ya doin'?"

Arnold's eyes were locked on her face. She looked amazing and he felt his heart flutter at the sight of her. Long blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, loose curls at the bottom bouncing with every turn of her head. Her big blue eyes, though red and puffy from crying, captivated him and his mouth hung slightly agape as he took in her image. The years had been generous to her as well and Arnold couldn't help but blush when he noticed her new "womanly" figure.

"Hi," Was all he could manage, swallowing and forcing himself to stop staring.

Stella and Miles shared a humorous look as they observed the enamored exchange between the two.

Helga's heartbeat quickened and she shifted her weight uncomfortably. Arnold shook his head, coming out of his daze.

"So, what now? When can I go home?" Arnold looked up at Stella.

Stella finally pulled a chair underneath her and sat down. "We aren't sure, yet. We're still waiting to hear more from your doctor about what recovery is going to be like. Just one step at a time, honey,"

Arnold nodded. "And where's Grandma and Grandpa? They still live in Hillwood, don't they?"

"They've been at the beach with the rest of the boarders," Miles addressed his son. "They know we're here, though, and they're on their way here now,"

Arnold let out a breath and allowed his muscles to relax. It seemed he had gotten all of the answers he was going to get for now. He looked back up at Helga.

"How are you?"

Helga smirked. "You haven't changed a bit, have you? Lyin' in a hospital bed and you're askin' _me_ how _I'm_ doin',"

Arnold grinned. "Well, yeah. I haven't seen you in forever,"

Stella shot Miles a look and nodded her head toward the door. "We'll be back in a little while,"

"Where are you going?" Arnold asked as his parents headed for the exit.

"We're just gonna get some dinner, we'll be right back," Miles excused.

Helga raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you guys already –"

"Be back soon!" Stella called out from the doorway, a sparkle in her eye as she pulled the door shut, leaving Arnold and Helga alone.

"So…" Arnold cast his eyes down to his lap, wringing his hands together nervously before looking back up. "What have you been up to since your last letter?"

Helga took a seat in Stella's abandoned chair. "Nothing too special," She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she listed. "Working at the bookstore, figuring out scheduling and dorm stuff for school, that kinda junk…"

Arnold smiled at her. "I'm so happy for you, ya know," He reached a hand out and she paused briefly before gingerly placing her hand in his, eyes widening at the sensation. His fingers wrapped themselves around hers and Helga felt electricity course through her body. Her eyes were wide but Arnold just kept smiling.

"Umm… thanks," She managed.

Arnold gripped her hand tight for a second, emphasizing a confirmation. His grip relaxed as the mood changed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now," He cast his eyes downward again.

"What do you mean?" Helga searched his eyes.

Arnold sighed. "What's going to happen now? They took a chunk out of my leg, Helga. And I don't even know how bad it is, yet," He looked up at her and Helga felt her heart break seeing genuine fear in his eyes.

At a loss for words, she gently rubbed her thumb against the top of his hand, still holding it in her own like a long lost treasure.

"Do you know?" He rubbed his own thumb against her hand, returning the affectionate gesture with careful subtlety. Helga watched his hand for a moment before looking back up into his eyes. "Like, how much they had to take? Or what's gonna happen?"

Helga shook her head. "I know about as much as you do,"

Arnold furrowed his eyebrows and leaned back against his pillow. "How long can you stay?"

_Forever… _Helga thought to herself.

"As long as you want me to,"

Arnold nodded, feeling a sweet sense of relief fall over him. "I really missed you…" He let his voice trail off and he looked away bashfully as heat rose to his cheeks.

Helga smiled, swallowing her own blush and looking down at her lap. "I missed you, too,"

They were both fully aware of their hands, still united across the edge of the bed. Helga felt like the warmth from Arnold's hand was running through her pores and causing every fiber of her being to heat up. Still, they never let go.

Helga coughed, trying to break the awkward stillness that had come over the room. "So, I'm sure you're gonna wanna hang out just like the old days now that you're back in Hillwood but I have this feeling we aren't gonna see you stealing any bases down at Gerald field anytime soon,"

Arnold forced a laugh. "Yeah, probably not…"

"Yeah," Helga rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand.

"Did my parent say how long we were staying in Hillwood?"

Helga shook her head. "Nope. I don't think that's the primary concern at this point,"

Arnold nodded. "Yeah, probably not. Man, I wish I knew more…"

After a moment of quiet, Helga spoke softly. "I'll help you, ya know," She kept her eyes on the floor, her heart skipping as Arnold tightened his grip on her hand, eyes locked on her. "With whatever you need to do…"

"Thanks, Helga," Arnold smiled wide, resting his half-lidded gaze on her. "You're amazing,"

She looked up at him sheepishly before jokingly responding, "Yeah, well, we already established how _amazing_ of a person I am, a _long_ time ago,"

Arnold smirked at the memory of Helga's passionate confession when they were only nine years old. "Yeah," He sighed. "I remember,"

**[A/N: Hope that was enough to hold you guys over! We still need to find out what Arnold's recovery is gonna be like AND we still don't know HOW MUCH they took from his calf! And what's that? Some romance, you say? Oh boy, the next chapter's gonna be a doozy. I can feel it. Byebye!]**


	5. Chapter 5

**[A/N: Hey everyone! Let me just say this: College is insane. The life is being drained out of me and it's ridiculous. Spent 6 hours on Sunday doing a research midterm paper, then another paper the next day and quizzes, random homework assignments, exams... it's a mess. But I finally got some breathing room and now here is the next chapter for you lovely HA lovers :)]**

Helga woke up early the next day because she wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible to see Arnold again.

She wouldn't have to work again until Friday so she had a couple free days at her disposal.

After Arnold had woken up the day prior, Stella and Miles had called Phoebe and Gerald to let them know Arnold was okay and he was awake. Gerald came to visit that night but Phoebe had to work late.

Once Gerald had arrived, Helga and Arnold's affectionate gestures minimized and they all sat around talking. Arnold was asking questions about everyone in the neighborhood and how they were doing while Gerald relished the opportunity to give his best friend the scoop.

Helga clambered out of bed, struggling to disentangle her legs from the blanket she'd rolled herself up in over the course of the night. She trudged sleepily over to her dresser and pulled out some clothes for the day. The weather forecast had said it was going to be hot and sunny so Helga chose a pair of khaki shorts and a fuchsia pink tank top paired with a plain pair of pink flip-flops. She ran a brush through her long blonde hair and pushed it back with a headband before grabbing her wallet, keys, and phone and heading out the door.

The house was silent as she locked her bedroom door behind her. She'd gotten into the habit of doing that ever since she caught her mom snooping around in her room. Helga didn't really party and she wasn't into drugs or anything like that. And obviously she didn't have a boyfriend so sex wasn't an issue of concern. She could only speculate that the reason for her mother's snooping was to find money.

As the years dragged on, Miriam had become more and more depressed. After a drunken fall down some concrete steps that resulted in a severely broken leg, she'd been prescribed prescription painkillers during her recovery. Already being sensitive to addiction, Miriam had developed a dependency on the narcotics and when the doctors started refusing to prescribe her more, she found other ways of obtaining them.

It was honestly a sad situation. Over the years Helga had matured enough to see her mother for who she really was. Miriam could have been anything she wanted to be. She had all of the talent that Olga had but being married to Helga's father was the anchor holding her back from accomplishment. Observing her mother sink deeper and deeper into her depression, Helga's anger toward her mother was replaced by pity.

Big Bob had taken the car that morning so Helga waited at the bus stop. She probably could've walked but it was just way too hot for that. She sat on the bench, shielding her eyes from the sun's rays as she looked up the street in anticipation. The bus was scheduled to come in approximately five minutes but the beads of sweat sliding down the middle of Helga's back were making her increasingly uncomfortable. She didn't want to be a hot, sweaty mess when she went in to see Arnold.

Helga pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and started typing a message to Arnold. He had gotten a phone years ago but since he lived in San Lorenzo, they couldn't really use that as a form of communication. His parents had given it to him solely for emergencies and it was as basic a cell phone as could be. A tiny twenty-dollar flip phone with no camera or anything. It made Helga's iPhone look like something from a sci-fi movie. Being the daughter of the city's Beeper King-recently-turned-Electronics King certainly had its perks. After beepers went out of style, Big Bob had revamped his business, giving cell phones the starring role.

**Be there soon.**

Helga waited patiently for the message to send before clicking the screen off and returning the phone to her pocket. She'd barely put it away before it vibrated against her thigh.

**cant wait. ;)**

Helga blushed when she read Arnold's text, looking around to make sure no one could see how flustered she'd become. They technically weren't dating again yet but somehow after seeing each other after all this time, those emotions found a way to creep right back into their lives. Of course, she never stopped loving him, but she had moved on enough to function without him around. She had even dated a couple guys during high school, one of whom was Brainy.

After all those years of stalking her, she finally gave him a chance in the spring of their sophomore year in high school. He actually had turned out to be a really nice guy but there was never any fire between them. The passion that Helga felt in her heart was being reserved for Arnold, whether she intended it to be that way or not. Needless to say, that relationship didn't last very long, but they were still friends.

Wolfgang asked Helga out during her junior year, his senior year. He had stopped bullying her and her friends when they were in junior high so up until high school, Helga never really heard much from him. He asked to go to the Homecoming dance with him that year and they stayed together for a while after. He had certainly turned out to be pretty good-looking and he seemed to have matured into a nice enough guy. However, it quickly became clear that Wolfgang had a reason for wanting to be with Helga and it was hardly romantic. Hanging out at his house one day, he'd gotten particularly aggressive, pulling her into his lap and inching his hands farther and farther up her thigh. She told him she didn't want to do anything like that so when he ignored her and kept pushing the limits, she rammed an elbow hard into his stomach. And that was the end of that.

It was no secret that Helga had developed a particularly attractive figure over the years and to her chagrin, the boys in school had definitely taken notice. Half the time she couldn't decide if she was flattered or just disgusted. She had grown up with some of these guys, playing baseball with them, running around the neighborhood, beating them up on occasion… The day she caught Sid checking out her butt, she silently wished to be hit by a bus.

And as it were, Helga's bus finally arrived and she made her way to her favorite spot in the very back. She stared at Arnold's text on her screen, wondering what would be an appropriate response. She didn't want to move too fast but at the same time, it somehow felt like he had never left. She felt like they were right back where they had been before he moved. The course of their relationship was unclear but Helga didn't want to be the one to make the first move, especially since there was no telling whether Arnold would be going back to San Lorenzo or not. As much as she wanted to be with him, she couldn't stand the idea of the heartbreak she'd face if she got attached and then had to say good-bye. Again.

. . . . . . . .

Arnold's eyes brightened when Helga walked into the room. He'd been up for hours now, bored, and it was only eight-thirty.

Helga had promised to come as early as she could that morning, that way they'd have a little bit of time to themselves before the rest of Arnold's cheering squad arrived.

"How's your leg?" She asked, setting her wallet and phone down on the table beside Arnold's bed. Her keys, hooked to her belt loop, clanged against the metal rim of the chair as she sat down.

Arnold looked down the bed at his bandaged leg. The heat had made it too uncomfortable to stay under the blankets so both legs rested on top. "I wouldn't know. They've got me on so many painkillers, I'm afraid to know, actually,"

"_Great_," Helga rolled her eyes, the image of her mother rifling through her dresser drawers playing in her mind.

Arnold's face hardened and his eyes filled with concern. He knew about the issues Helga faced with her parents. Sometimes she didn't need to say anything at all for Arnold to know what was going through her mind.

He changed the subject. "Do you wanna watch something with me?"

Helga shrugged. "Sure, I guess. Do you get anything good on this thing?" She jerked a thumb at the TV hanging up on the wall.

"I guess we're about to find out," Arnold reached past her for the remote that lay on the other side of the bedside table. Helga gently pushed it toward him when she saw he couldn't quite reach.

She rested an elbow on Arnold's bed, propping her head up as she channel-surfed with her beloved, relishing even the simplest moments they could spend together.

. . . . . . . .

It was almost lunchtime when Arnold's family arrived. Stella and Miles had returned, accompanied by Arnold's grandparents.

Dr. Monroe must have seen them come in because it wasn't long after everyone had set foot through the door that the doctor himself walked in.

"Good afternoon, everyone," he nodded toward the ladies in the room as he shut the door behind him. "I wanted to check in with you all and start talking to you about Arnold's treatment. Due to the amount of muscle tissue we had to remove, Arnold's going to require physical therapy to strengthen the remaining muscle," He turned and directed his attention at Arnold. "I'm not going to sugar-coat this for you. I know you're feeling okay right now because you're on the medication but when you start your physical therapy, it isn't going to be easy. With these types of surgeries, there is the possibility of irreversible nerve damage or loss, as well as decreased strengthen and endurance. We're going to keep monitoring your progress until you're discharged but I would recommend outpatient physical therapy until your gait stabilizes. I would expect it to take no less than two months of intensive, frequent sessions,"

"Two _months_?" Stella asked, eyes wide. She turned to her husband. She didn't want to say it out loud but they weren't prepared to stay in Hillwood for that long. All of their work was unfinished and unattended back home in San Lorenzo. They wouldn't abandon Arnold during this time, of course, but they needed to figure something out.

Miles nodded at Dr. Monroe, prompting him to continue.

"I have a list of recommended rehabilitation sites here," He handed a sheet of paper to Miles who looked over it briefly. "I would say Arnold's stitches should come out in about two weeks. Therapy can begin shortly after the incision has healed,"

Arnold's face was solemn. "My leg's pretty bad, isn't it?"

Dr. Monroe grimaced. "I'm afraid so, Arnold. With aggressive physical therapy, you should be able to adjust but you need to know it's going to take a lot of hard work. With a significant loss of tissue like this, there's no guarantee of how much function you'll be able to regain and you're going to need the support of everyone around you,"

Helga's heart felt heavy looking at Arnold's fallen face. She was determined to be there for him through his ordeal but her empathy knew no bounds and Arnold's pain was her own.

Grandma walked over and put her hand on Arnold's shoulder as she addressed Dr. Monroe. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, Doc. He's already got it,"

**[A/N: Aww they love him so much :) Hope you enjoyed that installment! There will be plenty more to come! Don't you worry your pretty little heads about that ;) ]**


	6. Chapter 6

**[A/N: Phew! Did I mention college is insane? Sorry this took so long but I finally sat down and wrote another chapter! This one's pretty long so hopefully that makes up for how long you guys had to wait. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Hey Arnold is the work of this genius named Craig Bartlett...and Nickelodeon has the rights to it. Alas, I am but a mere fan.]**

The bookstore was quiet. It was Saturday afternoon, a full three weeks since Arnold's hospital admittance, and Helga was bored out of her mind. She watched the clock, desperately urging the hands to move quickly so she could leave. There were still forty-five minutes left to her shift.

Marie was off today so Helga was covering the store on her own until her coworker Andrea was scheduled to arrive. That hadn't been much of a problem since it was turning out to be another slow day. Most people seemed to have better things to do with their summer than to frequent the small bookstore.

Arnold was finally getting out of the hospital today and Helga calculated she'd have just enough time to get to the hospital after work before he was discharged. She'd promised him she'd come that day and her loyalty knew no bounds.

In fact, she had visited him almost every day since he was first admitted. They had yet to discuss their relationship but the buds of romance beckoned to flourish and Helga's heart, as always, pined for more. It also didn't help that Arnold wasn't trying to hide his flirting.

Arnold's leg seemed to be healing nicely but they wouldn't know the extent of his abilities, or lack thereof, until therapy began and he tried to resume normal activity. Lying in a hospital bed hooked to painkillers was, for the most part, easy. The aftermath? Maybe not so much.

One day last week, Arnold and Helga had been alone in his hospital room.

They had been watching TV when Arnold realized he had to go to the bathroom. Thankfully, he had a small private bathroom in his hospital room but getting to it was always tricky. Helga had never been around before to help during moments like these so she relied on Arnold's instructions.

"Okay, I've just gotta—" Arnold slowly moved one leg at a time to the side of the bed, allowing them to slide off the edge. He winced, feeling the skin around his calf wound stretch. Helga helped Arnold sit up and he reached for the morphine drip by the bed. "And this comes with me,"

Helga wordlessly moved the contraption into Arnold's grasp, its wheels swiveling across the linoleum floor. With as much time as he'd spent lying in this hospital bed, Arnold had grown a bit weak. His legs were weak in general and his muscles had barely been used.

"Here, if you could just help steady me," Arnold nodded to his side and Helga came around, offering him support on the side opposite his morphine drip. Very slowly, he slid off of the bed and allowed his bare feet to grace the cold floor, sending a small chill through his skin.

Helga felt the weight of Arnold's body on her shoulder and gritted her teeth as she did her best to support him with each prudent step. They moved slow, careful to keep Arnold upright and stable. His grip on the metal pole holding up his morphine bag was tight as he used it and Helga as makeshift crutches.

Arnold stumbled a little at one point and the arm holding the morphine drip jerked, wheels skirting across the floor. Helga steadied him, never ceasing her firm grip around the back of his torso.

"You got it?" She asked, eyes wide and alert.

A quick response. "Yeah," Arnold's eyes were focused hard on the floor in front of him as they made their way to the door. He winced again every time he put even a little bit of weight on his bad leg.

Helga reached out, opening the bathroom door and flipping the light on. She was starting to feel a little awkward. How much was she supposed to help him exactly? Did he expect her to _go in_ with him?

As if reading her thoughts, Arnold said, "Once I reach the bar on the wall, you can go back out,"

Once Arnold was safely inside and the door closed behind him, Helga let out the breath she never realized she'd been holding. She stepped back and plopped down on Arnold's bed, ears pricked in case he needed her again but trying not to listen so hard that she heard anything… unnecessary.

This was gonna be hard. She already knew she was going to help him through his ordeal but the magnitude of the situation was easing its way into her consciousness and it felt more overwhelming every day.

Helga heard the toilet flush and Arnold called for her.

"Uhh… do you want me to open the door now?" She called through the door.

"Yeah, it's fine," He responded and Helga cautiously pulled the door open. Arnold had his forearm up, bracing himself against the wall with the morphine drip faithfully at his other side.

Helga took her place in the crook of Arnold's arm and escorted him back to his bed just as she'd done before.

Arnold used every bit of strength he had to slide back onto the bed as Helga carefully lifted his legs up. Arnold winced once and Helga froze. "I'm sorry!"

"No, no you're fine," he spoke through gritted teeth as he re-positioned himself on the bed. Finally able to rest again, he took a deep breath and sighed.

Pamphlets advertising a few of the rehabilitation clinics in Hillwood sat on the edge of the table by Arnold's bed. He stared at them wistfully and Helga took notice.

Without a word, she moved over and plucked one off of the table, flipping through it curiously.

"Helga," Arnold's voice was quiet, small…almost child-like.

She raised an eyebrow and peered at him over the paper. "Yeah?"

He wrung his hands together. "Can I be completely honest?"

Helga's brow remained furrowed as she re-folded the pamphlet and sat down in the chair by the bed.

"Of course," Her eyes were fixated on Arnold's fidgeting hands. "What's up?"

Arnold let out a deep breath and brought his gaze up to meet hers. "I'm worried, Helga. This is so much to handle and everything seems to have happened so fast… Only a few weeks ago I was in San Lorenzo and everything was fine but now look…" Arnold motioned toward his still-bandaged calf, his voice melancholic. "I just never imagined myself in a situation like this…"

Helga felt her heart sink. Arnold had always been the one telling people to look on the bright side and giving them encouragement. To see him be the downtrodden one felt like the universe was out of balance.

She reached for his hand and held it tenderly, staring at it hard as she contemplated her words.

"No one ever does…" Her brow was furrowed and her gaze intent, examining the rough crevices between Arnold's fingers on his otherwise smooth hand. "I'm gonna help you however I can, okay?" She added a gruff tone to her voice. "Just quit this whole worrying thing, _bucko_. You're gonna be fine,"

Arnold smiled and gripped Helga's hand with the one she was holding. "Thanks, Helga,"

In the present, Helga looked back up at the clock. She had three minutes until she could clock out and Andrea was in the back counting her drawer. There wasn't a single customer in the whole store, that is, until Helga heard the bell above the front door chime as it opened. She groaned inwardly but was relieved to see who it was.

"Hey Pheebs,"

Phoebe approached the front counter. "Hey!" Her chipper voice echoed in the empty store. "Gerald is parked right out front. I just came in to tell you we'd be out there waiting for you whenever you're ready,"

"Cool, thanks," Helga smiled. Somehow Phoebe had always managed to be the perfect friend, even though Helga hadn't always deserved it at times. Catching a ride with her and Gerald had been a surprise considering Helga had planned on taking the bus again today. "I'll be out soon,"

. . . . . . . .

Four minutes past the hour and Helga was buckled into the backseat of Gerald's car. An over-sized turtle balloon was floating in the back with her, continuously bopping her on the head and creating a great deal of static electricity in her hair.

"I'm gonna pop this stinkin' thing," Helga muttered, pushing the balloon to the other side of the car.

"Don't! It's for Arnold!" Phoebe turned around in the passenger seat. "It's a gift since he's being discharged today,"

Sure enough, across the side of the two foot long balloon was the word "Congratulations!" and, written underneath in Sharpie, "Get Well Soon!"

"I get that but—" The balloon made its way back to Helga's head and she yelled at it, a happy plastic grin staring her down. "Ugh! Get away from me!" She grabbed it, stuffing it between the backseat and Gerald's seat on the floor of the car.

Gerald and Phoebe chuckled up front.

"Calm down, Pataki," Gerald glanced at her in the rearview mirror, smirking. "It's just a balloon,"

"Yeah, yeah," Helga couldn't help but laugh at herself. But man, that turtle had been annoying. "Why a turtle, anyway?"

Phoebe shrugged. "That's all they had at the store,"

As Gerald turned a corner, the balloon started to slide out of its trap. Helga quickly grabbed it and pushed it down again. "_Don't_ you even think about it,"

"Hey! You kids play nice back there!" Gerald glanced back at her again, laughing.

Helga rolled her eyes. "What time are they discharging him exactly?"

"About four o' clock, so long as everything goes according to schedule," Phoebe turned around in her seat to face her best friend. "He should be ready when we arrive!"

Helga nodded and ran her hands through her hair, attempting to fix the mess Arnold's turtle balloon had created.

. . . . . . . .

Sure enough, Arnold had been ready to go just as Gerald pulled into the parking lot.

Inside the double doors, Arnold sat in a wheelchair surrounded by his parents, grandparents, and some of the boarders.

Arnold smiled wide when he saw his friends come into the main waiting area, Phoebe pulling a gigantic green turtle balloon behind her.

"Aw, thanks," Arnold chuckled at the cheesy gift as Phoebe handed the string to him.

"Ready to go?" Miles took hold of the handles on Arnold's wheelchair, leaning forward as he addressed his son.

"Yeah," Arnold smiled. "Get me outta here,"

Everyone filed back outside and Grandpa pulled the Packard around to the front entrance. Miles and Stella helped Arnold out of his chair and got him situated in the backseat. He leaned out the door to address Helga, Phoebe and Gerald. "Will you guys come back to my house to hang out for a little while?"

"Of course, my man," Gerald and Arnold exchanged their signature handshake. "We'll see you there,"

"Awesome," Arnold smiled and pulled the door closed, but not before stealing a warm look at Helga who reciprocated with a shy smile.

. . . . . . . .

Back at the boarding house, Arnold's grandparents had set up a spare bedroom for Arnold to use. Under any other circumstance, he would've been able to go back to his attic bedroom but no one wanted to see him try to climb those stairs on an injured leg. Besides, it would be easier for him to get to the bathroom if it was on the same floor.

Grandpa had brought down Arnold's bedspread, along with various other items left behind from his childhood, and set up the spare room to be more comfortable. There was even a decently sized TV in the corner, probably a hand-me-down from the living room, but it still worked.

Grandma made dinner for everyone and they all laughed and talked as if nothing had changed. Gerald and Phoebe stayed for a while after the meal but eventually had to go.

"I'm really glad you're okay, man," Gerald approached Arnold to say good-bye.

"Thanks, Gerald," Arnold smiled, still seated in one of the dining room chairs.

Gerald's voice was serious. "I mean… you're like my brother, Arnold… It's good to see you back on your feet… so to speak,"

He leaned down and gave Arnold a hug.

Leaning back and coughing the sentimental moment away, he added, "If you need anything, let me know, okay?"

Arnold nodded as they exchanged their signature handshake.

"You're not leaving yet, are you, Helga?" Arnold looked at her as she rolled a pea back and forth across her plate with a fork.

"Huh?" She looked up upon hearing her name. "Oh, uhh… I guess I can stay, if you want?"

Unbeknownst to Helga, Gerald winked at Arnold and nodded at the blonde-haired girl before escorting Phoebe out of the house.

Arnold swallowed his blush. "Yeah, I'd like that,"

Helga smiled sheepishly, her heart running its ever familiar race, and she tried to hide the way his half-lidded gaze made her want to melt.

Pretty much everyone else had left the table already. The only ones who were still around were Stella and Grandma who were coming in and out of the room as they cleared the table.

"Do you wanna go watch a movie in my room?"

Helga shrugged. "Sure,"

She stood up and went over to Arnold's chair, offering him her support as he hoisted himself up, bearing his weight on her shoulder.

They limped along the first floor and Helga watched with a heartsick expression as Arnold crawled gingerly up the staircase. As difficult as this was, he probably wasn't going to try to come back downstairs for the rest of the night.

They eventually made their way to Arnold's room and Helga helped him into the bed, just as she had done before. She let out a breath and stretched out her back. Helping Arnold move around was proving to be a workout considering he probably weighed about fifty pounds more than she did.

He patted the mattress next to him.

"Uhh…" Helga stammered.

"Come on, sit with me," Arnold smiled before retrieving the TV remote from his nightstand.

"Hmm… okay," Helga crawled onto the bed, being careful not to jostle the mattress and hurt Arnold's leg.

He pulled the blanket out from underneath her and covered her legs.

"What are you doing?" She stared down at the blanket, shifting her gaze between it and Arnold's face. The heat from his body underneath the covers sent a jolt of electricity through her.

"Is this okay?" His expression turned concerned. Had he done something wrong?

Helga contorted her face before sighing. "Actually, umm… what are _we_ doing?" Helga rubbed one of her arms nervously. Her heart was begging for Arnold to be in her life again, _permanently_, but in her mind she knew that once he was healed, there was a good possibility he'd move away again. Could she really handle a relationship that she knew could end soon? Especially if it was with Arnold?

"What do you mean?" Arnold asked, confused.

"I mean…" Helga swallowed hard and her voice turned quiet. "You and me…"

Just by the expression on her face, Arnold understood what she meant.

"I dunno," He shrugged, wringing his hands together and staring down at them. "What do you _want_ us to be doing?" He looked at her from the corner of his eye. Silently, he wished for the same thing.

"_Criminy_, Football-head!" Arnold smirked upon hearing his old nickname. He had kind of missed it. "You _know_ what I want but…" Helga rubbed the back of her neck, still frozen from the waist down under the blanket.

"We don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with, Helga," Arnold breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly. "I get it if you don't want to… get emotionally invested… while I'm here,"

Helga's face softened as a battle raged between her head and her heart. "I just—"

"It's okay," Arnold put a hand on hers. "Just having you around… just _seeing_ you is enough,"


	7. Chapter 7

**[A/N: Hey guys! Guess what! It's chapter 7 and you know what that means, right? Awkward moment time! Actually... there's no justification for why chapter 7 should be awkward moment time. I just wanted to say that because oh MAN are our two favorite characters in for some awkwardness... I hope you guys like it!**

**Oh! And I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

"Oh crap, I forgot your pills," Helga slid off of the bed.

"Huh?" Arnold raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Criminy," Helga shook her head. "Your head still lives in the clouds doesn't it? You were supposed to take your pain pills right after dinner. I know where they are; I'll go get them,"

Arnold smiled. "Thanks, Helga,"

He watched her walk out of the room, wishing with all his heart that she was still his.

. . . . . . . .

Helga snatched the pharmacy bag off of the living room coffee table and popped the lid off the bottle inside. She dropped two pills into her hand and stuffed the bottle back into the bag before heading into the kitchen to grab a drink for Arnold.

It seemed everyone else had cleared out of the floor. A note on the fridge caught Helga's attention.

**Went to run a few errands. Grandma and Grandpa are with us. Won't be gone long! XOXO, Mom + Dad**

Helga shrugged and opened the fridge, grabbing a can of soda before she made her way back upstairs to Arnold.

_This feels so much like torture… He's right here… he wants me back… but I can't do that to myself. Not again. It was hard enough getting over him the first time… Then again, maybe I never did… _

Helga always seemed to feel torn when it came to Arnold. Even when they dated before he moved away, she never really opened up to him fully. Something in her still felt a need to keep walls around her heart for fear of getting hurt. Everything he knew about her family, he had learned through observation. They hadn't had the time for her to come clean about everything that had gone on behind the scenes at home. Now the wall around her heart was trying to deny Arnold entry. As much as she wanted him back and as much as it hurt to resist his affections, she felt it had to be done. With age, Helga had matured and learned that she had to do what was right, as difficult as it may be at times.

. . . . . . . .

Helga dropped the pills into Arnold's hand and the second he felt the warmth of her skin, all he wanted to do was hold her hand. Her gaze, those striking blue eyes, they both enticed and terrified him all at the same time. The air was thick with their chemistry but neither of them said a word.

Arnold tossed the pills into his mouth and took a few greedy gulps of the soda.

"Thirsty, much?" Helga smirked.

Arnold shrugged and returned her smirk. "I guess,"

He started flipping through channels on the TV and Helga watched with commentary.

"Dumb… Rerun… Too frou-frou…Seriously, what the heck is Sugar-loo-loo? Who even watches that?"

Arnold sighed. "What do you wanna watch, Helga?"

"Something good," She scoffed, still eyeballing the TV.

The TV in Arnold's room didn't have a DVD player so if they wanted to watch a movie, they had to find something playing on one of the movie channels - a feat that was proving to be more challenging than it seemed.

Finally, Arnold flipped to a familiar animated movie.

"Okay, stop," Helga put a hand on the remote Arnold was holding. "We can watch this,"

"The Lion Prince?" Arnold raised an eyebrow as he turned to Helga. "You wanna watch that?"

"Hey buddy, this is my childhood. Don't try and give me grief about it! Sheesh!"

Arnold threw up his hands, indicating he wasn't protesting. "I'm fine with The Lion Prince," he chuckled. "I loved it when I was a kid,"

"Doi, who didn't?" Helga snuggled down into the blanket, making herself comfortable.

Arnold paid attention to the heat coming from her body and he wished there wasn't so much space between them. Or that he could put his arm around her. But he didn't want to make things awkward, regardless of the growing romantic tension between them.

As the movie played, Helga and Arnold relished in their nostalgia, singing along with the songs and sometimes impersonating the characters.

"I can't believe I remember the lines," Arnold laughed.

The most romantic scene of the movie, the one where Kimba and Mala fall in love while Jimon sings, brought a semi-awkward silence to the room. The tension was thick and Helga pulled at her collar, hoping for some relief as Arnold shuffled under the blanket.

During the battle sequence, Arnold reached for his soda can that he'd set on the nightstand beside him. As he retracted his hand, bringing the soda toward him, the condensation on the can caused it to slip from his grip and splash all over him.

He jumped when the cold liquid made contact, causing Helga to react as well.

"Argh!" Arnold put the now empty can back on the nightstand and pushed the blanket off of him. He'd managed to spill the soda square across the middle of his chest and he could feel it dripping down to his stomach. He was drenched.

Helga grabbed a towel that had been hanging on the back of the door and tossed it to Arnold who attempted to soak up the remaining liquid. However, most of it had soaked through and there wasn't much the towel could do to help. He felt sticky and uncomfortable.

"I think I need a shower," Arnold grimaced as he pulled himself up from a slouch.

"Uhh, okay," Helga came around to Arnold's side of the bed and helped him up. "I'll take you to the bathroom and then come back and get your clothes?"

"Sounds good," Arnold nodded as he and Helga began to make their way out of the room.

Helga made sure her arm was secure around Arnold and tried to ignore the electricity running through her veins at this contact. "Are you sure you can handle showering?"

_Good question. _Arnold thought.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. After Grandma broke her hip the first time, Grandpa put a bar in the wall. I can hold onto that,"

Helga still wasn't convinced but what was she supposed to do? Make him sit around in sticky, dirty clothes? Go into the shower with him? Give him a sponge bath?

_Come to think of it, that might not be such a bad idea… No, Helga, no! Stop thinking like that…_

Helga led Arnold into the bathroom and he sat on the toilet, waiting for her to retrieve a new set of clothes for him.

As she rifled through his dresser drawers, she stopped for a moment, feeling awkward again.

_Do I bring him new boxers? Oh, criminy…_

She peered into Arnold's top drawer and snatched up the first pair of boxers she saw, trying not to get too worked up. She stuffed them between the shirt and the pair of jeans she had collected, that way Arnold wouldn't immediately see them. That would hopefully avoid an awkward moment long enough for her to get out of the bathroom.

After she left him alone in the bathroom with his clothes, Helga made her way back to the bedroom. Though she pushed the thought out of her head, she couldn't help but be a tiny bit worried about Arnold taking a shower. But he had the pole to hang onto and he knew his limitations. He was a smart guy. He wouldn't do anything foolish, right?

Helga had just settled back onto the bed when she realized she hadn't gotten Arnold a towel. Back out in the hallway, she could hear the shower running and steam was seeping beneath the door frame. Helga yanked open various closet doors in the hall until she found one stuffed with towels and sheets. She was reaching up, pulling a towel from one of the piles when she heard a loud thud from the bathroom and Arnold cried out.

"Arnold!" She ran to the bathroom door, towel in hand. "Arnold! Are you okay?"

She placed an ear against the door to hear. Nothing.

Helga balled up her first and banged on the door a couple times. "Answer me, Footballhead!"

She heard Arnold groan but the sound was muffled behind the door. She darted her gaze around the hallway before laying her eyes on a key hanging from a small hook by the door.

_Oh man… _

Helga's heart was racing. Aside from the fact she was undeniably worried, she was also fully aware that Arnold was probably naked.

She stuffed the key into the lock and opened the door, diverting her gaze.

"I'm not looking!" Helga called into the room. "Are you okay?"

"I fell," Arnold's defeated voice came from behind the shower curtain. He had shut off the water so the room was quiet now.

"Are you hurt?" Helga knelt down beside the tub. She took a breath. "I'm not gonna look at… ya know… but I'm opening the curtain now… to make sure you're okay," Helga gingerly pulled the curtain back, her face turned away. She opened one eye, then the other, keeping her gaze locked on Arnold's face and trying to ignore the naked body in front of her.

_Oh my gosh, he's naked… he's NAKED! _

"Helga, no!" Arnold's protest came too late. He jerked toward the curtain but grimaced and fell back again.

"Oh, Arnold," Helga's voice was soft and, purely on instinct, she reached out to him, smoothing his hair back.

"I'm fine," Arnold said through gritted teeth as he shifted, trying to cover his private area. "Argh why is everything so _hard_,"

Helga fought away her inappropriate thoughts and cleared her throat.

"Your leg," She caught sight of it and halted. Arnold's stitches were gone and the huge scar that remained made Helga's breath catch in her throat. The scar itself was roughly the size of a baseball and his calf looking particularly weak and frail compared to his other, more muscular, one. This was the first she was seeing of his leg.

Arnold groaned again but this time in frustration. "Would you stop looking at it?" His brow furrowed as he tried to pull himself up to a sitting position once again, hiding his private area in the process.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Helga pulled her eyes away from Arnold's leg and back to his face. She took note of his own frustrated and mournful expression and felt her heart melting for her beloved. "I'm sorry," She whispered, eyes cast down.

Arnold turned back to her. "It's okay," He shifted. "I need to finish my shower,"

Helga looked up at him, a challenging look plastered on her face. "I am _not _leaving you alone again. Why don't you take a bath? _That_ would make more sense,"

"The stopper doesn't work and we don't have a plug," Arnold said simply.

"Oh…" Helga considered. An idea popped into her mind and she blushed as she tried to verbalize it. "Well, uhh… I could stay and… help?"

Arnold's eyes widened and his face flooded with heat. He nervously pushed aside a wet lock of hair that was sending droplets of water down his forehead. "Uhh…"

"I won't look! I swear! But you're really gonna hurt yourself," She paused. "If you haven't already,"

"I don't think so…I mean, I didn't hurt anything. I probably have some new bruises, but nothing major," Arnold shifted again, relieved that Helga couldn't see his private area from behind the tub.

Helga let out an exasperated sigh, more determined this time. "Okay, look, Arnold. I'm not gonna look at your _package_," Arnold's face flushed again. "I just wanna make sure you don't fall and crack that football-head of yours wide open. You've already proven it's a possibility,"

Arnold paused. "You swear you won't look?" His defense was weakening. He knew he needed help. That much was obvious. But he never expected to be in such a compromising situation, and with Helga of all people.

Helga held up her right hand. "You have my word,"

She grabbed the washcloth lying on the edge of the tub and turned the water faucet on.

Arnold's heart was racing and he felt completely vulnerable. He was sitting in a bathtub with a seemingly useless leg while _Helga_ washed his upper body. However, as uncomfortable as the situation was, he wasn't as nervous as he thought he'd be. Arnold watched Helga's eyes like a hawk and sure enough, she never snuck any inappropriate peeks. She was keeping her word.

_Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm giving Arnold a sponge bath… I was only joking about doing it earlier! I need to stay calm. Don't look, WHATEVER you do, Helga… do NOT look… Argh this is so bizarre. So much for not getting close to Arnold… Sure, Arnold, I won't cuddle with you but let me just wash your naked body. Purely platonic, right? Criminy…_

The room was quiet as neither one of them felt comfortable enough to talk. Suddenly, Arnold broke the silence as he sang a familiar line in an effort to break the awkward tension.

"_I can see what's happening,"_

Helga raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"_And they don't have a clue_," Arnold smirked.

Helga caught on and laughed a little, relieved at the broken tension. "_Who_?" She played along.

"_They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line… our trio's down to two," _He stuck two fingers in her face.

Helga laughed again. "Oh!"

"_The sweet caress of twilight," _Arnold faked an accent as Helga continued to run the washcloth over his skin, now working on his arms. "There's _magic_ everywhere… and with all this romantic atmosphere…"

Helga looked up at him, shy now. "_Disaster's in the air…"_

Arnold coughed, clearing his throat as a sense of awkwardness fell upon them once again. He turned his back to Helga as she ran the washcloth over his shoulders and the back of his neck.

Quietly, and under her breath, Helga started to sing again, her gaze fixated on Arnold's back.

"_So many things to tell him… but how to make him see," _She paused. _"The truth about my past?... Impossible… He'd turn away from me…"_

Arnold stared at the base of the tub as Helga's voice, so full of truth, echoed in the bathroom. He swallowed and sang the next line to her, never turning around.

_"She's holding back, she's hiding… But what, I can't decide… why won't she be the girl I know she is… the girl I see inside?"_

Helga's heart was pounding in her ears at this. She hung the washcloth over the tub.

"Okay," She cleared her throat. "Uhh… I think you're good to rinse now…" Helga stood up, looking away and trying to hide the deep-red color of her cheeks.

Arnold snapped out of whatever sort of trance he'd fallen under and stammered. "Oh… umm, th-thanks," He turned the faucet back on and splashed himself until the last of the soap had swirled down the drain.

Helga kept her eyes on the floor as she handed Arnold his towel and, once it was wrapped around his waist, helped him out of the tub.

"I think I can take it from here, Helga. Once I'm dressed I'll let you know and we can go back to the room?" He said, sitting down on the toilet with his clean clothes.

"Right," Helga nodded, still avoiding eye contact. She started to walk away when Arnold stopped her.

"Thanks… by the way. That was…" He paused, feeling just as awkward as Helga.

"Interesting," She supplied.

"Right," Arnold swallowed. "Interesting,"

**[A/N: Hooray for awkwardness. The lines they sung are from "The Lion King", by the way. In case you didn't already catch on to that.**


	8. Chapter 8

**[A/N: Hello all! Got another chapter for ya! Once again, thanks for the reviews! I have a TON of drama planned for this story so thank goodness the semester's almost over and I'll be free to write frequently again! In th meantime, I hope you enjoy the update!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

"MIRIAM!"

Helga's voice was frantic as she rushed over to her mother's limp body. Finding her mother passed out behind the living room couch wasn't an unusual occurrence but when Helga noticed the pool of vomit by Miriam's head, it sent a wave of panic through her.

"Mom?" Helga gripped Miriam's shoulders and shook her a bit, stopping to check for a pulse. There was a thin streak of dried bile running from her lip to her neck and Helga did her best to ignore the smell. "Wake up!" Another shake.

Miriam stirred slightly and Helga's heart rate began to slow back down. She let out a breath and a scowl formed on her face.

"Huh… wha?" Miriam slurred, bringing a hand up to adjust her glasses as she blinked sleepily.

Helga let go of her mother and stood up. She cared about Miriam deep down, of course, but Helga couldn't help but to hold onto the anger she'd harbored for so many years. On the one hand, she felt pity and concern for her mom but on the other hand, she kept resentment in her heart as well as anger. Miriam was doing this to herself and she'd forced Helga to deal with it for so long. Where was her _real_ mom? This surely couldn't be her.

But Miriam was the only mother she'd ever had. Thus, Helga fought an internal battle with herself everyday – not only over Arnold, but over her relationship with her parents.

"Oh, hi honey," Miriam smiled slightly as she groped at the back of the couch, pulling herself up. "What are you up to?"

"Getting ready for work, _Miriam_," Helga glanced at the vomit on the floor and held back a retch. For a moment, her demeanor softened. "Are you okay?"

Miriam smiled sweetly as if nothing in the world was wrong. "Of course, dear. I was just looking for… my glasses,"

Helga thought about telling Miriam she was already wearing them but decided against it.

. . . . . . . .

It was Monday morning and Helga was on her way to the bookstore. She'd left her mother to her own devices after she was assured that Miriam was no more incapacitated than usual. She grumbled about how frustrating Miriam was but then a pang of guilt shot through her heart, remembering how scared she had been in the moment that her mother had been completely unresponsive.

Helga shook her head of the thought, deeming it too difficult to think about, and stared hard at the blocks of pavement passing beneath her feet.

She was only scheduled until two today so that meant in five hours she'd be on her way back to the boarding house to see Arnold. Today was his first day of physical therapy and Helga had volunteered to go. Even though Arnold's parents would likely be there, she was dedicated to helping Arnold however she could.

Helga kicked a rock along the sidewalk as she made her way to the glass front door. She knocked and cupped a hand over her eyes, peering into the store.

Marie walked up and unlocked the door, pushing it open for Helga to enter. Once inside, Helga locked the door behind her and made her way to the back to count her drawer.

Another boring day in the bookstore and all Helga could think about was Arnold. They hadn't talked about the seeds of romance that were desperately willing themselves to bloom, despite Helga's protest. Nor had they talked about the awkward sponge bath on Saturday. Helga was trying as hard as she could to keep herself from getting too attached but every time she saw him, her knees felt weak and her heart would spin out of control.

. . . . . . . .

"Ready to go?" Miles turned around in the driver's seat of Grandpa's Packard.

Stella was in the passenger seat, re-reading the pamphlet for the rehabilitation center while Helga and Arnold sat in the backseat.

It was about two-thirty and they were on their way to Arnold's appointment.

Arnold ceased daydreaming and turned his attention away from the window. "Yup,"

"Alrighty then," Miles turned back around and started driving.

"This place is in the same professional building as your old pediatrician, Arnold," Stella spoke as she flipped through her pamphlet.

"Cool," Arnold feigned interest as he stared out the window once more.

Helga noticed Arnold's morose disposition.

"You okay, Football-head?"

"Huh?" Arnold snapped out of his daydreams again, turning to face her. "Oh, yeah I'm okay,"

"Nervous?"

"I dunno, maybe a little. I'm sure it'll be fine though," Arnold gave Helga a faint smile. He turned around again, laying his head against the window, and Helga watched his smile fade.

. . . . . . . .

The rehab center was on the third floor but thankfully there was an elevator, albeit a tiny one. Helga, Arnold, Stella and Miles crammed into the small space and rode it up to the top.

Arnold's parents were taking responsibility for helping Arnold walk so Helga followed a step behind them.

They followed along a narrow, carpeted hallway until they came to their suite. It was a small waiting room and only one other person was waiting to be seen. Miles helped Arnold into a seat as Stella approached the front desk and waited patiently for the receptionist to get off the phone.

Helga sat down beside Arnold and gave him a light, reassuring pat on the back as he fidgeted with his hands.

The doctors had advised Arnold to wear loose-fitting athletic-type clothing to his therapy sessions so he'd chosen a T-shirt and gym shorts along with a pair of athletic shoes.

Helga noted his tan legs and the light blond hair that covered every square inch… except over the scar. She pulled her eyes away, her heart feeling heavy. Thankfully, Arnold hadn't noticed her staring – she knew he felt a bit self-conscious.

Stella finished with the receptionist and sat down next to Miles. The woman who had been waiting when they arrived had already been taken back and it didn't take long before the physical therapist came into the waiting room again.

"Arnold Shortman?"

Arnold stuck a finger in the air. "That's me,"

"I see you brought the whole brigade along," the therapist chuckled. "That's good – it's good to have a cheering squad," He approached Arnold and stuck out a hand to shake. "You can call me John,"

Arnold shook his hand and smiled. Dr. Rocca, or rather, _John_, came across as a genuinely nice guy and Arnold started to feel a little more comfortable.

"Now, I'm gonna need one other person back there to help out but you're all welcome to come as well," John looked across the group.

"Whatever you want, sweetie," Stella leaned forward, addressing her son.

"You guys don't have to come,"

"Are you sure?" Miles checked.

"Yeah," Arnold turned to Helga. "I think I'd like for Helga to come back with me,"

"_Me_?" Helga pointed to herself. "Really?"

"Well, if you want to, that is…" Arnold looked down.

Helga shook her head. "I mean, yeah, I'll go with you," She stood up and Arnold smiled.

With the help of John and Helga, Arnold made his way through the doorway leading to the back of the office.

They came to a large room with a variety of equipment stationed around it. To the left, they saw a couple of tables with blue plastic covers that made them resemble beds of some sort. The woman from the waiting room was lying on one as another male therapist lifted her leg into the air, measuring how far she could stretch.

On the right, there was a small trampoline with a stack of balls of varying sizes and types next to it.

John noticed Helga eyeballing it. "That's for working on balance. You stand on the trampoline on one foot and catch a ball. Some balls are heavier than others so that makes it more challenging,"

"Something tells me I can't do that yet," Arnold took a stab at humor.

John chuckled lightly. "No, not yet. Today we're just gonna do some stretches and exercises, then have you try walking with the parallel bars," He led them to one of the private rooms in the back and Arnold sat down on the bed. It resembled the ones out in the main area but this one had a sheet over it.

Helga took a seat in the extra chair in the corner as John stationed himself on a rolling stool. He pulled out Arnold's chart and asked questions about Arnold's abilities and inabilities.

"I can't really walk on my own and my calf still hurts… and whenever I put my weight on that leg it _really_ hurts and my leg just gives out," Arnold stared at his lap, aware that Helga's eyes were on him.

"Probably some nerve damage there. I would've expected that, given your case," John made a note on the chart. "Anything else?"

Arnold thought for a minute. "I dunno, I guess other than that it just feels weak," He shrugged.

"Okay," John set the chart down a little table and moved over to Arnold. "We'll test you and see where your flexibility is right now, then do some stretches and move out into the main area for the parallel bars before we end today's session. Sound good?" He said as he retrieved a measuring device from a cabinet by the bed.

"Yup," Arnold nodded and John helped him lay back on the bed before proceeding to take measurements of his range of motion and flexibility in his legs.

"So, is this your girlfriend?" John asked, attempting small talk.

Helga choked in her seat, becoming flustered as Arnold's face turned bright red.

"O-oh," Arnold cleared his throat, stammering. "Umm… no," He stole a look at Helga.

John smirked. "Oh, I see," He turned around to look at Helga who proceeded to slide down slightly in her seat. "Nevermind then," He put the measuring instrument away and went on to explain the stretches and exercises he wanted Arnold to do.

After Arnold had gone through a couple sets, John instructed Helga on how she could help.

Helga gingerly took hold of Arnold's leg and helped him hold his leg straight up in the air for twenty second sets, just as she'd seen John do. Then she helped Arnold move his leg as though he were riding a bike. She faltered when Arnold winced.

"No, it's okay," John nodded for her to keep going. "He'll tell you if he needs to stop. Right, Arnold?"

Arnold nodded through gritted teeth. "Yeah,"

Helga hesitantly placed her hands back on Arnold's leg, staring at the soft hairs that tickled her skin and trying to ignore the large stretch of scar tissue in front of her. She looked at Arnold and their eyes met for a moment. Though they didn't speak, their gazes spoke volumes.

_I'd do anything for you, Arnold…_

_She's so amazing…_

After going through another few sets of stretches and exercises, John excused himself to check on something related to the insurance.

"When I come back, we'll get you out there walking with the bars,"

The door closed and Arnold pulled himself up to a sitting position.

"How are you feeling?" Helga crossed her arms, feeling slightly awkward now that they were alone.

"Stretched out," Arnold winced as he pulled his legs off the bed and let them dangle over the edge.

Helga's voice was soft. "It really hurts?"

Arnold nodded. "Yeah,"

They were both quiet for a minute before Arnold spoke again.

"Thank you... for being here,"

Helga sat down next to him on the bed. "I told you I would be. No sweat," She reached an arm around and playfully patted him on the opposite shoulder. "On second thought, maybe a little sweat. Jeez, that didn't take much did it?"

Arnold rolled his eyes and smirked at her.

John returned, knocking on the door before entering.

"Okay, ready?"

Arnold nodded, "Yeah, let's go,"

Out in the main room, Arnold positioned himself between the two parallel bars and John stood facing him.

"So what we'll do is you'll hold onto these bars and, at your own pace, I want you to try and walk to the other end. Use the bars to steady yourself and I'll stand in front of you the whole time to make sure you don't fall. And don't worry if you can't make it the whole way on your first try," He turned to Helga. "This is what you'll be doing,"

Helga watched as Arnold struggled to hold himself up. He didn't have too hard of a time moving his left leg but when he went to use the right one, his movements were a lot more awkward and slow. Arnold's arms shook under his weight as he willed his bad leg to support him. His brow furrowed and he gritted his teeth in determination.

"That's it," John nodded, stepping back with each step Arnold made. "Good, good,"

Árnold stopped after five small steps. "I need a break," His breathing was heavy and he was obviously tired.

"Okay, take a breath and we'll do it again. Helga, do you feel comfortable stepping in now?" John came out from in between the bars.

"Yeah, I can do it," She took John's place in front of Arnold and waited for him to muster up his strength. Beads of sweat had developed at his hairline and he was positioned with his weight on the good leg, resting his weaker one.

"Okay," Arnold breathed. "I'm ready,"

Helga held her hands out, ready to catch Arnold if he fell, as he slowly made his way to the other end of the bars. "You're doin' good… keep goin'," she encouraged.

Arnold's face was clenched, full of painful determination, as he struggled to take slow steps toward her. All of that work and he hadn't even gone halfway yet.

He pushed himself until he couldn't do it anymore. His leg buckled and Helga moved in, catching and steadying him right away.

Arnold took a few deep, tired breaths, leaning on and glaring at the bars before slamming a fist down on one. "Ugh!"

"That was great, Arnold! Like I told you, it's not a big deal if you don't make it all the way on your first try. No one expects you to regain full mobility in one session," John reassured.

Arnold felt Helga grab his hand and his heart softened, his brow unfurrowing slightly. "Yeah, I know,"


	9. Chapter 9

**[A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for such a long wait! I finally finished the semester though (woohoo!) so I'm FREE! Free you keep you guys up to date on what's going on with our favorite little lovebirds. I should be updating a lot more regularly now and THIS little fluffmonster I have concocted for you all should make up for the lack of updates! Enjoy :) **

**I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

A couple weeks had gone by and Arnold was gradually starting to build up strength in his leg. He still couldn't put too much weight on it for long periods of time but the rehab clinic had given him a pair of crutches so that he could be more independent.

He was in his new bedroom one day, lying back against the pillows and staring up at the ceiling. The dingy, cracked surface was a sorry excuse for the skylight above his bed in the attic.

Therapy had been going well and Helga had been there for him every step of the way: literally. He thought about how she never complained during the whole process. From helping him to walk around to assisting with all of his exercises in physical therapy, she'd been the closest thing to an angel he'd ever known.

His infatuation with her had been steadily growing and he knew it was obvious, even if they didn't talk about it. What was driving him crazy was knowing that she felt the same way but still feeling like there was something holding them back.

As if he didn't know what that was.

He knew what she was afraid of. And to be honest, he was apprehensive as well. Arnold knew his parents wanted to go back to the jungle. He and his parents hadn't talked yet about how long they'd be staying in Hillwood so it was reasonable to think that getting into something too serious would only lead to heartbreak when it was time to return to San Lorenzo. But weren't they already getting pretty serious?

She had been on his mind almost constantly since he moved away. None of the girls in San Lorenzo had ever really appealed to him. He'd gone on a couple "dates" but something always felt like it was missing. That's when Helga's face would pop into his mind and he'd swallow his bittersweet feelings. They communicated regularly in letters but it was never the same as actually being around her. He had always wondered how much she'd changed. They exchanged updated pictures a couple times but the majority of their contact was through writing.

Helga had always been an eloquent writer. Whenever Arnold read one of her letters, he felt like she could turn a short story about Miriam forgetting to do the laundry into an epic like that of _The Odyssey._

The first time he saw her in the hospital, his breath had caught in his throat. The last picture she'd sent him was from two years prior and seeing her in the flesh made his heart skip a beat. He'd forgotten all about the situation, if only for a brief moment. He was entranced by her. He'd always been attracted to her but, despite the fact she'd obviously been crying, the sight of her took his breath away.

It didn't take long for all of those emotions, formerly lying dormant in his heart, to come flooding back full force. All he wanted to do was hold her and never let her go again, but nothing could be that easy, could it?

Arnold rolled over, staring at the closed bedroom door. She was supposed to be coming over soon to hang out and he always felt his heart racing with anticipation when he knew she was on her way. He felt silly, but he liked it.

. . . . . . . .

Helga stomped up the steps of Arnold's stoop, knocking on the door a little harder than she intended.

She couldn't help but be a bit irritated considering her most recent interaction with Big Bob.

She'd been seated at the dining room table, scouring Hillwood University's website on her laptop. She was looking into dorm prices, meal plans, maps, schedules; you name it. Upon checking her email, she'd found that she'd been invited to join the university's English honor society. They said that because of her exceptional grades in high school and the talent she showed in her admissions essay, not to mention a rave recommendation from her creative writing teacher, they were interested in inducting her into the honor society. She would have to attend some meetings and do some other stuff before anything was official but the fact that they were even interested in her was a big deal.

"Whoa!" Helga stared at the screen in disbelief.

Big Bob was planted in his favorite chair in front of the living room television when Helga carried her laptop in to him.

"Dad, check this out!" Helga's voice was full of an uncharacteristic enthusiasm, something she rarely showed to her family and usually for good reason.

Her father's eyes were glued to the screen and he tried to peer around her when she stepped toward him.

"What? What is it?" He asked in annoyance, never batting an eye toward her.

Helga furrowed her eyebrows. You'd think she be used to this but something inside her still wanted that acceptance. She wanted to feel like a part of this family, as much as she hated it sometimes. Every child, deep down and no matter their age, wants to feel like their parents love them.

She sighed and continued. "They're inviting me into the English honor society! Look!" She held out her laptop, turning it to face him.

Big Bob glanced quickly at the screen. "Great, great… Jab him with the left! The left!" he bellowed at the screen as two boxers faced off in the ring.

Helga rolled her eyes, starting to feel the familiar feeling of defeat. She turned the laptop back toward her and closed it. "They said I'd have to attend some meetings or whatever but this is _huge_!" Helga moved in front of the TV. "_Hello? _Bob, are you even listening?"

He tried to crane his neck around with no success and looked up at her. "Do you want a stinkin' medal or somethin'? When your sister Olga was applying to colleges she had dozens of honor societies practically bustin' down the door for her. This… _English_… one is fine, too. Now, go do something, would ya?" Big Bob turned the volume up on the remote and leaned forward again, trying to see around Helga's form.

Helga growled but bit her tongue, stomping out of the room.

Now, she trudged up the boarding house staircase, her mood still sour, as she made her way to Arnold's temporary bedroom.

They had been hanging out together pretty much every day and the romantic tension between them had been driving Helga close to crazy. Every time their hands would accidentally brush against one another or she'd catch him staring at her… or was it _him_ catching _her s_taring? Either way, the worst of it was when Arnold would unabashedly flirt, making it that much harder for Helga to keep up her resistance.

She approached the door but stopped when she heard Arnold singing behind the closed door.

_"If you could only see the way she loves me… then maybe you'd understand,"_

Helga's heart fluttered at the sound of his sweet singing voice. What intrigued her more was the prodding question of whether or not he was feeling the same things for her that she'd been feeling for him. Sure he flirted, but her twisted and conflicting emotions were on a whole other level compared to playful flirting.

_"…Why I feel this way about our love… and what I must do,"_

Helga leaned against the doorframe. She didn't want to knock and Arnold to stop singing. She allowed herself this brief moment for her heart to do the flips and bounds that she normally restrained.

_"If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says,"_

Helga sighed sweetly to herself.

_"When she says she—" _

Arnold opened the door and all of a sudden he and Helga were face to face, inches apart.

Helga jumped back, trying to pretend she'd just gotten up there but it was painfully obvious how rooted she'd been to that spot. Arnold blushed, aware that his singing had not gone unheard.

"Oh hey," He smiled, repositioning his crutches as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Helga straightened up, recovering herself. "Hey, sorry to uh… interrupt,"

"No, you're fine," Arnold made eye contact with her and a shiver went down Helga's spine. He plodded out into the hallway and in the direction of the bathroom as Helga looked on.

"Need any help?" She shifted the weight of the backpack she was carrying on one shoulder.

"Nope, I'm good," Arnold turned and smiled at her. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back," And with that he made his way into the bathroom and shut the door.

Helga rested her backpack on Arnold's bed and pulled out her laptop. She opened it, revealing the invitation email that still graced the front page of her screen. With a sigh, she pushed the computer over and lay down on her back, staring up at the ceiling until Arnold returned.

"What's that?" Arnold noticed the screen and the large bold 'CONGRATULATIONS!' at the top of the page.

Helga turned her head and her long golden hair sprawled messily across his pillow. "It's nothing," she mumbled under her breath.

Arnold rested his crutches against the nightstand and crawled onto the bed with her, paying careful attention to how he moved his bad leg. He reached over her body to where the laptop sat and Helga grit her teeth at the warmth emanating from his body.

With the laptop in his lap, Arnold scrolled through the email. "Helga, this is incredible!" She looked up at him, unsure. "Why aren't you flipping out over this?"

"Just forget it, okay?" Helga scowled, yanking the laptop away from him. Despite her harsh tone, Arnold noticed the slight flicker of a hurt little girl in Helga's eyes. He frowned.

"Your dad?" He asked softly, scooting closer to her with subtlety.

Helga rolled her eyes but her brow softened and she let out a long, slow breath.

Arnold's hand found Helga's shoulder and he leaned in closer to her. "Don't worry about what he says, Helga,"

Helga beamed rays of anger into her lap as she avoided Arnold's gaze, her scowl returning. "Who says I care?"

"I _know_ you care. I know you've always cared," Arnold paused. "You think I never noticed the way he treats you? You think I just forget every time you ever tell me about something he's done? I know you better than that, Helga," Arnold felt a spark of courage and reached for Helga's hand. It felt so _right, _the way her hand fit into his. "Even if you thought I didn't, I've always noticed you,"

Helga's heart jumped into her throat and her eyes widened. Somehow he always found a way to dig through her tough exterior. He knew her. He _noticed _her.

The tension in the air between them was thick and Helga couldn't stand the space that separated them. She felt herself being drawn to him as though he were a magnet made especially for her.

Arnold sat up and reached for her laptop again. "Can I show you something?"

Helga paused a moment and reluctantly handed it back over. "Sure," she muttered.

Arnold minimized her email and pulled up a new browser. Helga watched as he stared intently at the screen, clicking a few times and then turning her volume up. He looked up at her with a sheepish grin.

"Maybe this will make you feel better," He took a breath, feeling a little jittery. Nervousness causing his heart to flutter and his hands to tremble as a song emerged from her speakers.

Helga watched him, one eyebrow raised, as he bashfully avoided her eye contact. They were still only inches away from each other. Helga was caught off-guard when Arnold started to sing along with the song, gradually making more confident and meaningful eye-contact with her.

"_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful stop me and steal my breath. And_ sapphires _from mountains thrust towards the sky, never revealing their depth_. _Tell me that we belong together, dress it up with the trappings of love. I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips, instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_,"

Helga continued to stare, wide-eyed. Arnold made darting glances at her, trying to restrain the sheepish grin that threatened his singing voice.

"_I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love's suicide. I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life_,"

Arnold pushed the laptop away from him, letting it rest between their legs toward the middle of the bed.

"What are you _doing,_ Arnold?" Helga asked, still incredulous.

He shook his head, ignoring her question as he continued to sing. This time, turning toward her just slightly.

"_And rain falls angry on the tin roof as we lie awake in my bed. You're my survival, you're my living proof. My love is alive and not dead_," Arnold brought his eyes up to meet hers. "_Tell me that we belong together. Dress it up with the trappings of love. I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips, instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_,"

Helga felt her defenses weakening. "Criminy, why are you doing this to me?"

Arnold shushed her and smirked as the chorus played.

Helga's heart was melting and she felt like Arnold could see through to her soul. Every scar left on her heart, every tear she never shed, every dream she dared not to dream.

"I just don't—"

Arnold shushed her again before catching up with the song.

"_And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead_," Helga felt tears threatening behind her eyes at that line and breathed in deeply to control herself. "_I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said_,"

Helga felt herself unnoticeably moving closer, turning to face Arnold. His voice was soft, warm to her ears, and it felt like velvet was wrapping itself around her heart. He took her hand in his again.

"_I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love's suicide. I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life_…"

Arnold and Helga's faces were within mere inches from each other. The sounds of a saxophone echoed in the otherwise quiet room as Arnold gently tipped Helga's chin up, his other hand softly cupping the side of her head. Helga's entire body felt like it was made of gelatin and Arnold's heart was pounding in his ears. He closed the distance between them, their lips finally meeting as the final note rang out against his bedroom walls.

**[A/N: How's that for some fluffy love-time? Hope that made up for my absence. Let me know what you think!**

**Oh, and the songs were "If You Could Only See" by Tonic and "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain]**


	10. Chapter 10

**[A/N: I hope you guys are ready for drama because you're in for it now! Don't forget to let me know what you think!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

Helga felt herself melting into Arnold's kiss. She felt like the world around her was swirling and her body was weightless, falling through time. His lips were soft and warm, gently pressed against hers as though searching for something.

Being careful to not move his bad leg too much, Arnold maneuvered so that he hovered over her slightly. Helga slid down, resting against the pillows and allowing him better access. Arnold reached up, catching a fistful of her silky blonde hair and fiddling with it in his hand as his lips told stories of how badly he'd wanted this. This closeness.

Being with her felt perfect. Inevitable.

Helga's head felt light and she reciprocated Arnold's tender kisses with an unbridled degree of passion and longing. Her hands found the back of his head, pulling him closer as she gripped his hair with a sense of urgency.

Arnold's heartbeat quickened as his hands wandered, exploring the softness of her skin. He found himself becoming more and more lost in this moment. Every unspoken word was being poured into one another through gentle kisses and playful biting tugs of each other's lips.

Arnold pushed Helga's disheveled hair away before moving to leave soft nibbling kisses behind her ears and on her neck. Helga gasped at the sensation and shivered beneath him. As she caught her breath, she regained her composure. She gently pushed him off of her, meeting his wild-eyed gaze.

"Hold your horses there, Casanova,"

Arnold breathed in deeply, sitting back next to her. He quietly stared up at the ceiling as he allowed his pulse-rate to return to normal.

"I don't want to go back to San Lorenzo," He spoke without looking at her.

Helga sat up, smoothing her hair a little bit and watching to see if he'd say more.

Arnold fidgeted with his hands, his brow furrowed. "I don't want to have to say good-bye to you again… and I miss Hillwood. I miss everything about this place," Arnold looked up from his lap, motioning around him. "I mean, it's not perfect but nothing in life is, right?"

"You are," Helga murmured, her eyes cast away.

Arnold turned to her. "I'm far from it," He put his hand over hers and she looked up at him. "But either way, I don't want to go back. It was nice and everything but being back in Hillwood… it feels like I belong here more than I ever belonged in San Lorenzo. I know my parents love it there but I dunno… it's not the same,"

Helga cleared her throat. "I… I don't know what to do,"

"What do you mean?" Arnold raised an eyebrow.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Helga lifted her arms and allowed them to collapse into her lap dramatically. "About this! About us! I don't want you to go back either, obviously but what am I supposed to do? What are _we_ supposed to do? I can't keep pretending I don't want this," Helga motioned between them. "But you know how I feel…how I've always felt…"

Arnold put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him, feeling relieved when she didn't reject his affections. "I know. And I hope you know how I feel," He turned her cheek so that she was facing him. As she met his gaze, his eyes spoke volumes – more than mere words could express.

"Yeah," Helga managed. For a moment, she allowed herself to stop fighting her internal battle and rested her head against his shoulder. "I know…"

"Maybe I can go to college a little earlier than I planned if I stay here. It's not such a crazy idea, you know?" Arnold smoothed his unruly hair back as he thought out-loud. "I could send in an application for the next semester or next year…" He paused. "I guess it depends on how my leg is doing,"

"Yeah, that _might_ make things a little complicated for you," Helga spoke into his shirt, still resting her head against him and reveling in his scent.

"I wish you could've been there, though," Arnold leaned his head back as he imagined. "Sometimes at night I would go outside and lay in the grass, just looking up at the stars. That's one thing I miss about that place. The skylight in my room is awesome and I always loved being able to see the stars at night but the view in San Lorenzo was incredible. In the city, the lights make it harder to see but when you're out in the jungle, there's really nothing in your way," Arnold paused, still reminiscing. "Sometimes when I'd look up at the stars at night, I'd wonder if you were doing the same… Like, if you were looking at those same stars," Arnold blushed slightly. "That's really dorky, isn't it?"

Helga could barely contain herself but she fought back the urge to swoon. "No, it's not,"

"I want you to know I don't want to leave you again," Arnold sat up so he could face her. "And, and… I don't want you to get hurt. This might be a mistake but I just… I dunno, I just feel drawn to you, Helga. I've always felt that way and I can't explain why. I just know I wanna be around you. I want to be with you and when you aren't around, I'm constantly thinking about you or talking about you. I know I've driven Gerald crazy on occasion," Arnold rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as Helga bit her lip, blushing. "And I'm really glad you've been around… helping me with everything. It's not easy adjusting to something like this. Sometimes I wake up and forget that anything's wrong but then I feel the pain, or I try to walk, or I realize I'm in a bed in Hillwood instead of on a cot in the jungle. It's frustrating not being able to do everything I'm used to doing… and it's like… I've always been the one helping everyone else. It's weird now, needing other people to help _me_ all the time. I've never really had to be this… _vulnerable_, I guess, or dependent. I just want you to know how important you are and how much everything you've done means to me…"

Helga turned and reached a hand up, smoothing Arnold's hair back and turning his head to face her.

"I would do anything for you, Arnold," She leaned in, leaving a deep but gentle kiss on his lips.

. . . . . . . .

Arnold went over to Helga's house for dinner that evening. Despite Miriam's condition, she still somehow managed to prepare meals sometimes.

As everyone dug into their plates, Arnold inconspicuously observed the awkward silence at the dinner table. Big Bob shoveled food into his mouth like a wild boar, making Miriam's sloth-like movements seem even slower. On the bright side, she had yet to pass out onto her plate. Helga pushed her food around the plate before lazily bringing the fork up to her mouth.

The room was quiet aside from the sound of forks scraping against porcelain and people chewing.

"So," Arnold broke the silence as he lifted a spoonful of mashed potatoes to his mouth. "How is the beeper store, Mr. Pataki?"

Big Bob looked up from his plate suspiciously, raising at eyebrow at the boy. "Why?"

His gruff tone stifled Arnold's desire for small talk. "Nevermind," He replied with a gulp.

"Miriam… Miriam!" Helga hollered across the table at her mother who, resting her head on her hand, was starting to slip away. The last thing they needed was food splattering everywhere when Miriam face-planted into the potatoes.

With a jolt, she sat up straight. "Huh?" She looked around, taking in her surroundings. Wiping a bead of drool from her lip, she smiled at Helga. "So… honey… how is school?"

"I'm on break, Miriam," Helga muttered as she cut into her porkchop.

"That's good, that's good," Miriam took a sip of her cocktail. "So," She turned to Arnold. "How is everything, uh… Andrew?"

"Arnold," Helga snapped in monotone. "His name is Arnold,"

Miriam adjusted her glasses. "Right, right. Arnold, of course,"

Arnold took a sip of water and cleared his throat. "Uh, I'm doing okay. Helga's been helping me out a lot lately since I came back from San Lorenzo,"

"Oh yes, your leg. How is that, dear?"

"Um," Arnold shrugged. "I mean, it still hurts. I have to take pain medicine regularly but physical therapy is helping a lot and with my crutches I can move around a lot better," He smiled.

"So you're like a cripple now or somethin'?" Big Bob asked brusquely, his mouth full of food.

"_Dad!_" Helga's eyes shot open wide.

"What?" His brow furrowed at her.

"It's okay, Helga," Arnold gave her a look to put her mind at ease. He was careful not to be too affectionate with her around her parents. He turned to Big Bob. "I wouldn't say _that_ necessarily but I guess for now I do have my fair share of… challenges…"

"Right, so how do you plan to do anything with a bum leg? Don't think you're gonna get Olga here to do everything for you forever. She's goin' to college in the fall so she can actually do somethin' worthwhile. Are you just gonna let everyone wait on you now for the rest of your life?"

"That's _enough!_" Helga growled as she stood up quickly, slamming her hands down on the table. She went into the other room to grab Arnold's crutches. "Come on,"

Arnold felt uncomfortable and awkward over the whole situation. From Big Bob's rude comments to the way they were abruptly leaving the table. During the whole episode, however, he noticed Miriam never said a word. She seemed lost in her own little world, staring off into space.

Helga glared at her father as she waited for Arnold to go before her.

"For cryin' out loud, why do you have to be so dramatic?" Big Bob narrowed his eyes at her.

"Just leave us alone," Helga said in an even, warning tone.

Helga followed Arnold as they slowly made their way up the stairs.

Big Bob called out from the dinner table, "Don't go gettin' her knocked up either!" He took a bite of his porkchop. "That's the last thing I need…"

. . . . . . . .

Up in her bedroom, Helga closed the door behind them as Arnold made his way to her bed. She locked the door and leaned back against it, exasperated.

"Arnold, I'm so sorry… he's such a douche…"

Arnold looked up at her. "Don't worry about it. I was ready for him," He patted the area on the bed next to him.

Helga sat down and Arnold put his arm around her, resting his head against her shoulder. Helga leaned her own head against his and sighed. "I can't stand it here sometimes… most of the time…"

Arnold took her hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb against her skin. "You'll be moving out soon. Maybe when you aren't living in the same house, your relationships with them will improve,"

Helga scoffed at the idea but didn't say anything.

Instead they decided to turn on a movie on her laptop. They cuddled together in Helga's bed, much the same way they had in Arnold's, with the laptop positioned in front of them.

This is how it was supposed to be. Arnold's arms around her, her head lying against his broad chest – the simple moments Helga had always yearned for.

She wondered how many other girls had been this close to Arnold. They never really discussed details of their romantic lives in their letters so Helga found herself becoming more curious the more time they spent together. She knew she'd be jealous the instant she found out anything but her desire to know nipped at her incessantly.

She wondered if Arnold was still a virgin. She herself had never gotten to the point where that was an option with her past relationships. Stealing glances at him, she noted how attractive he was – at least to her. His face had matured and she was still fascinated by those new sideburns. He tended to shave his face regularly but he wasn't obsessive about it so he'd have a fair share of stubble between shavings. Arnold wasn't the tallest guy around but he was maybe an inch or so taller than her and his skin was nicely tanned from all that time in the San Lorenzo sun. Helga thought the idea of Arnold _not _having girls fawning over him was crazy.

They came to a part in the movie where a man was trying to lie about whether or not he had just had sex. He was in a bathroom and another man outside of the room was asking him about it. As the main character fought to convince his friend that nothing had happened, the friend commented on how guys "always have to pee like crazy" right after sex so he figured that was what had gone down. As the main character tried to laugh it off, covering up the sound of his own urination, Helga turned to Arnold.

It seemed like an inconspicuous way to ask so she went for it. "So, is that true?"

"Huh? Is what true?" Arnold raised an eyebrow at her.

Helga shrugged nonchalantly. "That guys have to pee like crazy right after sex,"

Arnold turned back to the screen and smirked. "I wouldn't know,"

Helga maintained her casual attitude. "Oh, so you don't know from… personal experience or anything?"

Arnold laughed. "No, Helga,"

"Oh," She said calmly, nodding. "That's cool," She turned her attention back to the screen and did her best to hide the grin on her face.

. . . . . . . .

Downstairs, Big Bob had retired to the living room, watching a football game on the television. Miriam was clearing the dinner table, dumping the dirty dishes into the sink for her to deal with later. She just didn't feel like doing anything.

She hated this life. She could have been so much more than what she had become.

She scraped leftover food into the trashcan and returned to the dinner table to collect more dishes when she noticed something.

On the table by Arnold's place sat a small prescription bottle. Miriam considered for a minute. She knew it was wrong. She knew she needed help. But an overwhelming urge inside her pushed for her to take it. It gnawed at her to fulfill the needs of her sluggish and neglected body.

Miriam put down the plates she was holding and picked up the bottle. There were still a lot of pills inside and would it really hurt the kid if she took a few from him? She had run out of her own the day before and the resulting withdrawal had left her nauseated and aching. If she took a few, she'd feel better and she could put the bottle back before it was ever missed. Miriam looked around, listening intently to hear if anyone may have been approaching. Without another thought, she slipped the bottle into the pocket of her dress.


	11. Chapter 11

**[A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all the support! :) Things are gonna get intense from here on out! Sorry this chapter is kind of on the shorter side. I hope you like this update and as always, let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

A dull ache made its way into Arnold's leg. As the movie progressed, the pain became stronger and more biting until Arnold realized he'd forgotten to take his pain pill at dinner.

He gently nudged Helga who was starting to doze off on his arm.

"Helga?"

She stirred, furrowing her brow at the disruption. "Yeah?"

He leaned forward and paused the movie on the laptop. "I forgot to take my pill at dinner. Would you mind getting it for me? I left the bottle on the table,"

Helga instantly became more alert. "Yeah, I'll be right back,"

_I have a bad feeling about this._

Helga slid off the bed and left the room.

When she got downstairs, the dinner table was clear and the pill bottle nowhere in sight. Just as she'd predicted.

Helga found her mother sleeping on the couch in the living room, undisturbed by Big Bob yelling at the television.

"Miriam!" Helga stood in front of her mother with her hands on her hips.

No response.

Helga scowled. "_MIRIAM!"_

"Criminy! What the heck are you yellin' for, girl?" Big Bob barked at her.

Helga grabbed her mother's shoulders roughly and pushed until her eyes fluttered open.

She sat up on the couch and yawned, her eyes half-lidded. "What is it, Helga?"

"Where are Arnold's pills?" Helga growled, staring Miriam down.

Miriam avoided her gaze and stammered. "Oh… umm… what pills?"

"The pills that were on the table!" Helga yelled into Miriam's face. "Where did you put them? Did you _take _them?"

"Oh honey," Miriam forced a laugh. "Of course not," she stood up, looking around and scratching her head. "They've gotta be around here somewhere,"

"I'm _not_ buying it!" Helga moved in front of her mother so she couldn't walk away from her. Meanwhile, Big Bob turned the volume up on the TV.

"Helga, I am your mother and… and you can't speak to me like that!"

"Like hell, I can't!" Helga threw her hands up into the air. "What kind of mother are you, anyway? All you care about is your 'smoothies' and ever since you got yourself hooked on painkillers, you're even _more_ useless than you ever were before!" Helga's eyes were wild and she knew she had struck a nerve with that comment but she pushed her guilt aside.

"You know, Helga, you don't know me as well as you think you do," Miriam's gaze fell to her shuffling feet.

"All I need to know is not to turn my back when you or the _ogre_-" Helga threw a distasteful glance at her oblivious father. "-are around. Now give me Arnold's pills back. _He_ needs them," Helga held out her hand.

Miriam started to walk away but Helga grabbed her tightly by the arm, pulling her back.

"Ohh no, you're _not _going anywhere," Helga whipped her mother around.

Miriam glared. "I'm _not _going to put up with this, Helga!"

"Oh, give me a break. You're a drunk and a drug addict. You never made anything of yourself so instead you just make everyone else's lives miserable by being that _one _thing that always goes wrong. You want to talk about '_putting up_' with crap? Try living with _you!_" Helga spat.

Without thinking, Miriam's hand came across Helga's mouth in a loud smack. Big Bob's head whipped around and Miriam instantly threw her hands up to her face, shocked at what she'd just done.

She reached out to her daughter. "Honey, I'm so sor—"

"Save it," Helga pulled away, ignoring the burning sensation on her face.

Without another word, she walked out of the room as her parents watched her go.

. . . . . . . .

Helga burst into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

"Helga, what hap—"

Arnold's voice was cut off when Helga screamed and punched her bedroom door until she broke the skin of her knuckles. She then proceeded to fall into a slump on the floor, unable to hide the tears that had broken free.

"Whoa!" Arnold moved as quickly as he could, sitting up on the bed and crawling across the floor to her. He pushed some of the hair away from her face but Helga jerked away from him. "Shhh… Helga, what happened?"

Helga pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face into them. Arnold's heart was in his throat as he watched Helga break down in front of him. He pulled her balled-up body close to him and hugged her tight. His blood was flushed with so much adrenaline, he completely forgot about the pain in his leg.

"I hate her!" Helga lifted her head to scream into the otherwise quiet room.

"No, you don't. You're angry," Arnold tried to calm her.

"Don't tell me what I am! You don't even know!" Helga snapped at him.

"Then tell me," Arnold challenged. "_Tell me _what is going on!"

Before Helga could respond, a sharp tap on the door startled them both. Helga scrambled out of Arnold's embrace and unlocked the door. Just outside the door, she found the pill bottle sitting on the floor. Helga looked up and down the hallway but there was no one in sight. She snatched up the bottle and closed the door again.

"Here's your pills," Arnold was still sitting on the floor when she handed them to him.

Arnold studied the bottle then returned his confused gaze to Helga. She had crawled onto her bed, sitting cross-legged and closing her laptop.

"Helga, come here," Arnold patted the floor next to him.

"No,"

Arnold gave her an exasperated look. "Will you just come over here? It's not like I can easily come to you,"

Helga paused, then huffed, but went back over to where Arnold was sitting on the floor.

"Listen to me, Helga," He took her by the shoulders. "Whatever is going on right now, bottling it up is just going to make it worse. You can't just come in here crying and screaming and punching things and _not _expect me to try and do something about it!" He picked up her hand and noted the dried blood on her knuckles. The cuts were nothing substantial so he resolved to making sure she washed her hands later.

"You wanna know? Miriam tried to steal your pills; _that's _what happened!"

Arnold paused, taking in a breath as he collected his thoughts.

"Okay, why would she do that?"

"Because _that's _what addicts _do_, Football-head," Helga growled, crossing her arms.

Arnold's heart sank. He spoke quietly. "I'm sorry, Helga,"

"It's just ridiculous," Helga's voice changed to something less angry and more melancholic. "I'm sick of everything she's done. For as far back as I can remember, she's been a drunk. Then she fell down some steps and got hooked on her painkillers so now she's worse than she ever was," Helga crossed her legs and rested her head in her hands. "Now, not only do I have to do everything myself, even though it's always been like that, I also have to take care of _her_. _She's _supposed to be the mom, not _me. _So I go down there to get your pills and she's arguing with me about it but I knew she had them… and okay, maybe I said some things I shouldn't have but she _slapped_ me," Helga pointed to her face. "What the hell? She's never done that before so that pissed me off even more…"

"Are you okay?"

Helga shook her head. "Forget about it. It didn't even hurt that much… it just shocked me more than anything," She sighed.

Arnold pulled Helga back into an embrace and ran his hands through her hair. "We should try to get help for your mom,"

Helga didn't respond.

"What she's doing is dangerous, Helga. And as mad as you are now, I know that deep down you still care about her. She's still your mom," Arnold reasoned, running a gentle hand up and down her back.

Helga's expression softened and she let out a breath, quietly whispering, "I know,"

. . . . . . . .

A week passed and things had more or less gone back to normal. Helga was still helping Arnold at his physical therapy sessions and they were still spending time together almost every day when Helga wasn't at work. Helga had been spending a lot more time at Arnold's house since she just didn't want to be home. Between Big Bob and Miriam, there wasn't enough room for Helga _and _her sanity.

One day Helga and Arnold were hanging out in the boarding house living room watching TV. Helga had her laptop in front of her as she browsed the Hillwood University student website. She was arranging her schedule for the first semester as well as trying to decide on things like which dorm to live in and which meal plan to choose.

"How the heck am I supposed to know what to pick," Helga grumbled, perusing the webpage as Arnold looked on.

"Well, do you think you'll need 14 meals a week or 21?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "How do _I _know?"

Arnold thought carefully. "Well, the 14-meal plan is less expensive but I don't know if that's enough. Then again, you _do _get 100 meal dollars that you could put towards food if you had to,"

"Criminy, do they think I have some sort of crystal ball or somethin'? I don't know how many meals I need. At home, I eat whenever I can. But cheaper's probably better," Helga selected the 14-meal option. "If I need to change it, I'll change it,"

"That sounds reasonable," Arnold nodded.

"So, when are _you_ gonna look at college stuff?" Helga closed her laptop and scooted closer to Arnold on the couch.

Arnold blushed at the contact, aware that any one of the boarders, not to mention his grandparents, could walk in at any moment. His parents had gone back to San Lorenzo for a few days to take care of a few things and shut their work down temporarily. "I dunno. I don't even know if we're staying after I'm done with physical therapy,"

Arnold's voice hung in the air and Helga's face fell a little.

"When are you gonna find out?"

"Well, I need to talk to my parents and they'll be back tomorrow so I guess I'll bring it up then," Arnold shrugged.

Helga sighed, snuggling up closer to him. Whether Arnold stayed in Hillwood or went back to San Lorenzo, Helga wanted to make sure that she didn't waste any of the time they had together.

With a playful yet devilish grin on her face, she crept her hand across Arnold's torso, teasing the hem of his shirt and lifting it slightly so her fingertips grazed his bare belly beneath. His skin was tanned and he was in pretty good shape from all of the manual labor he had done in San Lorenzo. Light hair was revealed, stretching down past the hemline of Arnold's pants. Though she could only see a small fraction of his bare skin, Helga swallowed her blush. She already had a pretty good idea of what _everything _looked like on him.

Meanwhile, Arnold's face had turned a deep shade of red. He pinned Helga's hand to his stomach so she couldn't move it anymore.

"Helga, what are you _doing_?" His eyes were wide and he laughed nervously. It wasn't too hard for her to get him flustered and he didn't want her to know _how _flustered she made him.

"Nothing," Helga grinned.

Arnold smirked, shifting so that he hovered over her. A mischievous glint shone in his eyes. "Yeah right,"

Helga shrugged innocently and Arnold sat back in his original position. He couldn't help but smile at her and when she laid her head on his shoulder, it was perfect.

Mere words were unnecessary and inadequate for how he felt. Arnold looked down at her and laid a soft kiss on the top of her head. He stroked her hair and wondered how he'd managed all those years in the jungle without her. They complemented each other perfectly and he knew that she loved him more than he could ever fathom.

Arnold tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and whispered, "You know I love you, right?"


	12. Chapter 12

**[A/N: Let me just say this is probably the most intense chapter I have EVER written. Oh man. I was writing this with the emotions of a fanfic ****_reader_**** so it was kind of hard to contain myself and keep going but I FINISHED it! Thank goodness. I hope you all like it! Tell me what you think!**

**I don't own Hey Arnold!]**

On the inside, Helga's heart was doing leaps and bounds but she chose to keep calm.

"Oh, umm, ya don't say?" Helga's cheeks were flushed and Arnold smiled.

"I do. I thought it was obvious," He shrugged and pulled her closer, nuzzling into her hair.

Helga hid her giddy grin and whispered into Arnold's chest. "I love you, too,"

Arnold was beaming when he looked back down at her. "I know. I always have,"

. . . . . . . .

Miriam was seated at the vanity in her bedroom, staring gloomily into the mirror. This woman she had become disgusted her and yet she felt trapped. By her marriage, by her life and now by herself.

She took a sip of her cocktail and sat it back down on the glass tabletop. The strong liquor burned her throat but she was past the point of caring.

She sighed and opened the bottom drawer and reached into the back, pulling out a box labeled "Old Stuff". The flaps were worn and a thin layer of dust covered the top. Brushing it off, she opened the box and began delicately setting its contents on the top of her vanity.

Another sip. She pulled out a photo album and began flipping through it. Pictures of Miriam receiving numerous awards and honors seemed to be on every page. There she was in her swimming uniform, goggles pulled down around her neck, with a smile from ear-to-ear. She won first place that day.

Another sip. The Bull-riding Championship of 1973. Another picture of her beaming as she received her award. A burly man named Slim had been in charge of the event and his arm was around her shoulders, his cowboy hat on her head and a grand smile on his face. Miriam sighed again and took a longer sip from her glass.

She sat back in the chair and stared at the picture for a moment. She barely knew the person looking back at her. She had so much going for her back in those days. She could have graduated from any college she wanted; in fact, many begged for her to come to their school. Somewhere along the line, she lost sight of who she was and what she wanted in her life.

Miriam hadn't been dating Bob for very long before she got pregnant. It was the biggest and, up until that point, the only mistake she'd ever made. It was her third year in University when she found out and, though she was an adult, her parents didn't take the news very well. They pushed for her and Bob to get married as soon as possible to "keep their dignity".

During Miriam's pregnancy, she was sick a lot. It got to the point where she would have to leave class numerous times to run to the bathroom and the nausea didn't subside after the first trimester. She ended up having to be hospitalized because she was having such a hard time keeping anything down and was at risk for dehydration. By the time she was six months pregnant, Miriam had to leave college. She always said she would go back after the baby was born but that never worked out. Once little Olga came into their lives, Miriam had no other option but to stay home and care for her newborn while Bob worked to try and support them.

She loved her daughter but she carried a seed of regret in her heart throughout her life. She never regretted having Olga; rather, she regretted the circumstances under which she was born. Every time Miriam talked about going back to college, Big Bob brushed off the idea and gave multiple reasons for why it wasn't feasible at the time. There never ended up being a "feasible" time.

So Miriam put all of her energy into Olga and Big Bob, seeing how naturally talented Olga was, did the same. She won just about every contest she entered and excelled in school. Miriam felt that if she couldn't do everything she had wanted with her life, she would make sure her daughter would have the world at her feet. Piano lessons, tutors, every opportunity that a parent could wish for their child, Miriam and Bob made sure Olga had it, though for different reasons. Big Bob saw Olga as a star, associating the Pataki name with success and championship status. Meanwhile, Miriam wanted the best for Olga. She would have every chance that Miriam never got. She would be Miriam's second chance at life, even if she wasn't directly living it.

Many years down the road, Miriam got pregnant again and Big Bob was not happy about it. He tried to convince Miriam to get an abortion and for a while she was considering it. They had so many bills to take care of with Olga's tutors and the tuition at her private high school; how could they afford another child?

One morning as Miriam was waking up, she could have sworn she felt something kick inside her belly. As unlikely as it was, considering how early she was into her pregnancy, she took that as a sign.

Big Bob laughed at her. "It's just a blob! You didn't feel anything,"

But she felt something that morning that gave her the resolve to keep the baby, whether Bob liked it or not. He eventually stopped hounding her and instead put his focus on Olga and helping her to succeed more and more. The day Helga was born, when he felt her in his arms, was the first time he smiled at the idea of another child.

Still, things never really improved. Once again, Miriam was stuck in the house all day taking care of a new baby as well as her pre-teen daughter while Big Bob's beeper company took off. The bridled ambition, the unfulfilled potential became too much.

A long gulp of her cocktail. Miriam closed the photo album and put it back into the box. She returned the box to its hiding place and slumped into her chair, swirling the ice around in her glass.

Once upon a time she was something special. Once upon a time she had goals and dreams, ambition and confidence. Where was that now? She swirled the ice in her glass again. Swirling hopes down the drain until they vanished and all that was left to comfort her was the bitter elixir in her glass.

She took a long swig and set it down on the tabletop a little harder than she intended. Looking up, she narrowed her eyes in disdain at the sight of her image in the mirror: sunken eyes with heavy bags, her hair un-brushed, her face wrinkled from a perpetual frown. She looked into her own eyes, searching for a glimmer of hope but saw nothing. She closed her eyes and crossed her arms on the table, resting her head on them. Silent tears made their way down her face, burning her cheeks as she choked on her own despair.

After a few minutes she sat up and wiped her face. She felt hollow. Empty.

She reached into another drawer and groped around inside for the familiar tin canister. That was this week's hiding place. She couldn't risk her family finding her stash, even though she knew they were aware of her problem.

She pulled out three old pill bottles, two of which being the same prescription. There weren't many pills left in them. Maybe a dozen in total. One at a time, she popped the lids off of each bottle; one…two…three. The clattering of the pills hitting the tabletop was a dull echo in Miriam's ears. She made a straight line, then a circle, then a pile, lazily moving each pill as she zoned in and out of the moment. Finally she grit her teeth and furrowed her brow in determination before scooping them up and dropping them unceremoniously down her throat. She chased them with a long, final swig of her cocktail, the cold liquid swirling down her throat.

She tried to catch her breath for a few minutes. She was scared and angry, upset and confused. Trapped beneath hidden glass watching someone else live her life. She clutched the glass in her hand and felt her muscles twitching with anxiety and adrenaline.

She leaned back in the chair for a brief moment before abruptly slamming the glass down on the tabletop, shattering both and cutting her hand. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to stifle her choking sobs.

An image of her daughters came to the surface of her mind. Olga beaming, Helga scowling. She loved them both, even if Helga didn't know it. She hated herself for not being a good mother to her. She had given so much of herself to Olga and yet she barely knew Helga. She was consumed by her addictions for so long that life had somehow managed to pass by her. Helga needed so much more than Miriam was. She needed the kind of mother Miriam wished she could have been. She still needed that mother.

_I can't do this._

Miriam jumped out of her chair, knocking it over as she raced out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. She fell forward in front of the toilet and reached one hand down her throat as far back as she could. She gagged a few times, the contractions painfully jolting her stomach before she vomited into the bowl. Hopefully that was enough.

Gasping for air, she sat back against the bathtub and wiped her mouth. The floor seemed like it was spinning beneath her. She took her glasses off and wiped her eyes with toilet paper as she tried to steady her breathing.

. . . . . . . .

Late that evening, Arnold and Helga were in his room, cuddling on the bed and watching TV. However, it became increasingly evident that neither one of them was paying very much attention to it.

Arnold would distract Helga from watching by tickling her. Once they settled down, Helga would wait until Arnold's guard was down and then she would attack him with a flurry of kisses.

Arnold laughed against her ambush but quickly began to reciprocate. He gently took her head in his hands, slowing her down so that he could take her lips in one long, deep kiss that left Helga fluttering on cloud nine. She melted into his arms and Arnold turned her onto her back, continuing to shower her in sweet kisses that gradually began to intensify. He winced slightly as he repositioned his leg.

Therapy had been helping with his strength but he still had some pain. Nothing like what he'd experienced before, though. With time and treatment, he was slowly recovering. He'd never have his whole leg back but his prognosis was looking better.

Arnold brushed a finger across Helga's cheek, reveling in the softness of her skin. He pulled away for a minute, breathless, as he stared into her eyes.

"What?" She looked up at him, confused.

His half-lidded gaze sent a shiver of anticipation through her. "You're beautiful,"

Helga blushed and fumbled over her speech. "I… umm…"

Arnold's lips met hers once again and the heat between them was making them dizzy with longing. He reached for the hem of Helga's shirt and slowly began to slide it up, revealing her sensitive, porcelain skin beneath.

Helga broke away from his kiss. "What are we doing?"

He sat back and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "Um… is this okay? I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable, Helga," He could still feel his heart racing in his chest.

"It's just…I've never… uhh…" Helga rubbed her neck sheepishly before meeting his gaze. "But… yeah, umm... this is okay,"

Arnold smirked and approached her again, gently pushing her hair aside and leaving soft kisses up and down her neck. "Don't worry," He pulled back to look at her. "You're in good hands,"

"Oh man, where have I heard that before?" Helga laughed and rolled her eyes but was quickly lost in Arnold's kisses once again.

With each passing moment, the heat between them grew and their kisses became more passionate. When Arnold's shirt came off, Helga's breath caught in her throat and she fought to keep herself from staring. She knew he had a nice body but seeing it up close, in this context, mesmerized her. Arnold laughed nervously but the pinkening of his cheeks was a giveaway. Helga reached up and pulled his head back down to her with both hands, capturing him in another kiss. Arnold reached for Helga's shirt again and removed it, only breaking their kiss for a split second as the clothing went over her head.

Arnold reached a hand up and cupped Helga's breast, causing her to gasp. He let go, "Too much?"

His question went unanswered as Helga pulled him back into her kiss, taking his hand and placing it back on her body.

They continued like this for a while, matching each other's movements and falling deeper and deeper into a dizzy aurora of emotion and desire. Helga reached for Arnold's belt and started to unfasten it.

Arnold's breath hitched and he broke their kiss, resting his forehead on hers. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Helga paused. "I think so," She whispered.

Arnold leaned back slightly so that he could look at her. "There's no rush. I'm… you're just…" He reached for her face, gently caressing her cheek and playing with her hair. He let out a deep, content sigh and met her gaze, piercing blue eyes that seemed capable of seeing into his soul.

Helga's cheeks were flushed and her hair was sprawled beneath her. Arnold always had a way of making her feel all topsy-turvy. She pushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled up at him.

She looked away, blushing. After a brief pause, Helga spoke quietly, shyly bringing her gaze back up to him. "Arnold, I…uh… I want you to be my first,"

Arnold's heart seemed to speed up even more. He grinned and kissed her on the forehead. "I want you to be my _only_,"


	13. Chapter 13

**[A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is going to be so short. I wanted to end it at a certain part and there wasn't a whole lot to do before I got there. I hope you enjoy it! This is a major story arc we're about to encounter. Again, sorry it's so short. Future chapters should be much longer than this.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

The room was dark and quiet when Arnold slowly and sleepily opened his eyes. A dim light from the muted TV cast a bluish glow over the room, contrasting with the warm light emanating from the lamp on Arnold's end table. Arnold quickly regained his senses when he noted the sleeping figure by his side.

_What time is it?_

The digital clock on Arnold's desk read 11:37 pm. Arnold sat up a little bit, careful to not disturb Helga. A cool breeze hit his bare chest and he remembered why he was barely clothed. Helga's clothes were strewn across the floor on the other side of the bed and Arnold blushed at the memory of how they came to be there.

Arnold yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and rested his gaze on Helga's sleeping form. She was lying on her side, her breathing steady and her sides rising and falling with every breath.

Arnold snuggled up behind her, his half-lidded eyes locked on the girl in front of him. A small smile never left his face as he gently caressed her cheek. He pulled her tousled blonde hair back, tucking it behind her ear so that he could leave a soft kiss on her cheek.

Unbeknownst to him, Helga had begun to stir when she felt Arnold moving on the bed. She smiled to herself, reveling in the comfort and warmth of his touch. Everything seemed so perfect when she was with him. Nothing could hurt her. Her skin prickled when he touched her cheek and her heart fluttered in a lovesick frenzy. She could feel Arnold's eyes on her, watching her, but she chose to stay "asleep".

Arnold scanned Helga's figure in front of him, amazed at how everything had fallen into place. He knew he was meant to be with her. There was always something drawing him to her, even when he tried to deny it. However, there was no sense denying truth, and the truth was in every look in her eyes. The truth was in every kiss, every touch. Every time he held her hand, every time he heard her voice, he knew it. He really loved her.

Butterflies bounced around in Arnold's stomach and he could feel his own heart fluttering. A grin of contentment plastered on his face, he twirled Helga's hair between his fingers as he gazed down adoringly at her.

Partly to Helga' subconscious but mostly to himself, Arnold whispered, "One day I'm going to have to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me,"

Helga's eyes shot open and her body froze.

_Did he really just say that!?_

She didn't dare to move and blow her cover so instead, she chose to pretend she was finally waking up. She made slow movements, slowly turning over and rubbing her eyes.

"Hey," She whispered, feigning a sleepy voice.

Arnold just smiled down at her and gently brushed his lips across her forehead in a brief kiss. "Hey,"

"What time is it?" Helga sat up, combing her hands through her hair in the hope of detangling it.

"Almost midnight," Arnold nodded toward the clock on his desk.

"Crap, I need to go home," Helga sat up a little bit but quickly realized she was practically naked and pulled the blanket up to cover her chest. "Uhh…"

Arnold blushed and laughed at Helga's sudden bashfulness. He smirked and looked up to the ceiling as Helga crawled out of the bed.

As soon as she was free from the protection of the blanket, Arnold turned his gaze to her with a sly smile.

Helga picked her clothes up off of the floor and turned around to see him looking at her. "_Arnold!_" She scolded him, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at his head.

He laughed and looked back up at the ceiling. "You know, I already saw everything,"

"That's not the _point, _Football-head," Helga feigned disapproval but the slightest laugh in her voice gave her away.

"Whatever you say, Helga," Arnold conceded.

Once Helga was fully dressed, she crawled back into bed with him and snuggled up against his chest. His words were still echoing in her head.

_He wants to… oh my gosh, I can't even say it in my THOUGHTS!_

Arnold put an arm around her and gently rubbed his thumb against her arm. "I thought you had to go home?"

"Are you rushing me now, Football-head?" Helga turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow challengingly.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Arnold chuckled.

They lay there in the dark quiet for a while before Helga reluctantly crawled out of the bed. She collected her belongings from Arnold's desk as Arnold began to get out of bed. He limped over to his dresser and pulled out a new T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"What are you doing?" Helga said as she noticed him putting his shoes on.

"Putting my shoes on," Arnold said simply.

Helga rolled her eyes. "Well, doi! Why?"

"Did you really think I wasn't going to walk you home? It's midnight, Helga," Arnold stood up and grabbed his crutches from their place by his end table.

Helga put her hands on her hips. "Arnold, you don't have to do that; you can barely walk. I'll be fine,"

"I'm sure you will be, but I still want to,"

Helga rolled her eyes and sighed but she couldn't hide the smile on her face. She gave him a smirk.

"Whatever floats your boat,"

. . . . . . . .

"Are your parents going to be mad that you're coming home so late?" Arnold asked as he limped alongside Helga, his crutches aiding in his balance.

Helga rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right," She kicked a rock along the sidewalk. "Besides, they're probably already asleep,"

"Okay,"

They were both quiet for a minute as they made their way through the darkness.

"So umm… about tonight," Helga broke the silence, rubbing her neck awkwardly.

Arnold's ears pricked up and he looked at her, still maintaining a steady pace. "Yeah?"

"We uhh… I mean," Helga paused, trying to find the right words. "Now what?"

Arnold thought for a minute. "I guess we just take things one step at a time," He paused. "That was a new step for both of us and well, I… I'm glad it was you,"

They both stopped walking and Helga shuffled her feet in place. "I'm glad it was you, too,"

Arnold leaned on one of his crutches. "When my parents come back tomorrow, I'm gonna tell them I want to stay here. I've pretty much made up my mind that I want to stay in Hillwood and start school as soon as I can," Arnold breathed in deeply, taking in their surroundings. "One way or another, I'm staying here. This is my home,"

Helga smiled and threw her arms around Arnold, careful not to knock him over. She pulled away, beaming, and kissed him passionately on the lips.

Arnold smiled as he broke their kiss. "Come on, let's get you home,"

. . . . . . . .

Arnold and Helga stopped outside of her house.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Arnold asked, leaning against his crutches.

"Of course," Helga grinned and hugged him, swooning on the inside when she felt him reposition his crutches so he could hug her back. He left a kiss on her ear and she pulled away to face him. Helga melted at the sight of Arnold's half-lidded gaze as he took her lips in his. Gentle and sweet, loving kisses that left Helga feeling like she was floating.

To Arnold's chagrin, she pulled away and smirked. "Goodnight, Arnold,"

"Goodnight," Arnold's lovesick smile made Helga's heart race.

She turned and slid her key into the lock, entering her house not before turning back to Arnold one last time. They shared a smile and Arnold gave a little wave.

Helga chuckled. "Bye,"

She closed the door quietly behind her and locked both locks before leaning back on the door and letting out a dreamy sigh. Her swooning was interrupted when she heard a crowd cheering from the living room.

Helga followed the noise only to find her father asleep in his favorite chair, plopped in front of the television as always. She walked around the room, turning off the extra lights and grabbing the remote to turn the TV on mute. Her father's snoring echoed in the now dimly lit room and Helga made her way through the first floor of her house.

Her mind was filled to capacity with thoughts of Arnold and the night they had shared. She still couldn't believe everything that had happened recently and she felt as though clouds were carrying her along everywhere she went. She trudged sleepily up the staircase; despite her euphoria, she was still pretty exhausted.

Inside her bedroom, Helga flipped the light switch on and dropped her laptop bag onto her bed. She pulled a pair of pajamas out of her dresser and slipped into them before making her way to the bathroom.

Strangely enough, the bathroom light was still on, though the door was cracked open. Helga raised an eyebrow and pushed the door open, unprepared for what she would find.

There, slumped on the floor, was Miriam.

"Get up, Miriam. I need to use the bathroom," Helga furrowed her brow. When she didn't get a response, her heart dropped into her stomach.

"Mom!" Helga fell to her knees, instant panic running through her veins. She reached for her mother's shoulders to shake her but jumped back when she felt cold skin.

Helga looked around, wild-eyed.

_This isn't happening, this isn't happening._

There was vomit in the toilet and some smeared across Miriam's chin. Her glasses were lying on the floor next to her and her hand was covered in blood.

"Miriam!" Helga, becoming frantic, slapped her mother across the face, still with no response.

Helga scrambled to her feet, never taking her eyes off of Miriam's body until she ran into her bedroom for her cell phone. Her hands were shaking as she dialed Arnold's number.

"Hey Helga, what's –"

"I need you to come back," Helga choked out. "I-I…" Helga looked around, dazed and in shock, tears brimming in her eyes.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Arnold's concern was evident in his voice.

"No, I'm not," Helga's voice rose and hiccupped with a repressed sob. "I need you now,"


	14. Chapter 14

**[A/N: This was incredibly painful to write. I don't even have words.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

The lights from the ambulance flashed brightly outside the Pataki household. A couple police cars were parked against the curb and despite how late it was, a few neighbors were staring from their windows.

The house had been awakened by all the commotion of strangers walking around, talking about Miriam. They scoured the house for clues as to what had happened.

_"Wait for the coroner to determine cause of death"_

_"Are the victim's lacerations self-inflicted?"_

_"Evidence of overdose – possibly intentional"_

_"How long?"_

How long?

Their words swirled around Helga's head and she felt dizzy. She sat on the living room couch, staring aimlessly into thin air as Arnold rubbed her back. He didn't know what to say. There wasn't much to say.

Big Bob was awake and frantic, going back and forth from one cop to another, demanding information. His demeanor was gruff but his voice was breaking, his eyes glazed.

Helga felt like she was falling through a limitless void, never reaching the bottom. She felt hollow, and not one tear dared to escape her eyes. She just shut down.

Arnold was at a loss for words and simply resorted to staying by her side. He rubbed up and down her back, trying to comfort her though she gave no indication as to whether it was working or not. She sat silently, barely even blinking.

A detective approached her. "Excuse me, Miss. I'm Detective Andrews. I understand you were the one who found the victim?"

Helga never even looked up. Her brow furrowed as she stared at the floor intently.

"Her mom," Arnold corrected the officer.

"My apologies," The detective's voice softened and he sat down on the other end of the couch. "Could you tell me what happened?"

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do?" Helga's voice was low, void of almost any emotion.

The detective nodded. "Indeed. But your testimony would help a great deal in putting the puzzle pieces together,"

"She was on the bathroom floor," Helga's gaze never left the floor and her voice was even. Despite the glassy look of her eyes, she never broke. "I've found her like that before but she always woke up. I came home," Helga's voice slowed down. "Dad was asleep in the living room. I turned the lights off. I went upstairs and I put my stuff in my room. I went to the bathroom… then I found her,"

Arnold ran a hand through his hair. It was late, he didn't know what to do, and his heart was breaking for Helga.

"I tried to wake her up," Helga continued. "It didn't work. It always worked before but not this time. I left the room the way I found it and called you guys,"

The detective nodded, jotting her comments down onto a small notepad. "Thank you, Miss. Pataki," He stood up and slid the notepad into the inside pocket of his jacket. "I'm very sorry for your loss,"

Helga nodded, never meeting his gaze.

As the detective walked away, Arnold put his arm around her. Helga submitted to his affection but didn't reciprocate. It was as if she wasn't fully "there".

He pulled her close. "Helga, it's okay to cry if you need to,"

Silence.

"I'm so sorry," He breathed, resting his head on her shoulder. "Please tell me if there's anything I can do,"

Helga was quiet for a couple minutes before speaking. "How many pills were left in your bottle when I gave them back to you the other day?"

"Huh?" Arnold was startled by her voice breaking the silence between them. "Oh, umm… I don't know. I never counted,"

Helga nodded, thinking. "This makes sense,"

Arnold's face contorted. "It does?"

Helga turned to him, finally making eye contact. "Where would she get that many pills? She doesn't have a prescription of her own,"

"Where was she getting them before she found my bottle?"

Helga's voice lowered, darkening. "The better question is why didn't you just take your fucking pills with you when we went upstairs…"

Arnold's eyes widened and he sat back a bit, retracting his arm. "Helga, I—"

A crowd of detectives and paramedics thundered down the staircase. A couple of them were carrying a large black body-bag. Helga couldn't look up. She pulled her feet up underneath her on the couch and scowled as she picked at the fraying fabric.

Arnold watched as they attached Miriam's concealed body to a stretcher and wheeled her outside. Big Bob stood back, watching helplessly. He'd already needed a few of the detectives to settle him down earlier. One of them, perhaps the detective in charge, stopped and exchanged a few words with him. They shook hands and Big Bob nodded in understanding. That was the first time Arnold ever saw Big Bob shed a tear.

. . . . . . . .

Big Bob never approached Helga to talk. They went their separate ways after everyone was gone. Arnold stuck around for a while but Helga had shut herself off and was barely talking to him.

He finally crawled into his own bed sometime after 3 am. He flipped the switch on his desk lamp and leaned against the headboard, heaving a deep sigh. After Helga's comment, Arnold felt immensely guilty about the incident with his pill bottle but he knew Helga didn't blame him. She was dealing with a tragedy and knowing her, it was expected that she would lash out. He had to remember that.

He'd always been great at helping people, giving advice, fixing problems. This, however, was something he couldn't fix. He felt powerless and useless. He wished he could take Helga's pain away but there was nothing more he could do aside from simply letting her know he was there for her. He remembered what it was like not having his parents. That sense of loss and helplessness – a hollow feeling that left your heart feeling incomplete. Broken.

Despite the fact they had been found, Arnold knew what it felt like to lose a parent. And even though she had been quiet and never cried, he knew her. He knew this was the calm before the storm. He knew she was hurting.

Arnold rubbed his face and turned his lamp off. In the dark of his bedroom, Arnold cried Helga's tears.

. . . . . . . .

Helga couldn't sleep. She had laid down on her bed, fully clothed, but she was still too hyped up on adrenaline. She stared into the darkness of her room.

Big Bob was downstairs in the kitchen. He was seated at the counter, head in hands and deep in thought. He couldn't sleep either.

Helga threw the blanket off of her and walked out into the hallway, the bright light blinding her temporarily before her eyes adjusted. Like a ghost, Helga moved slowly through the hall, stopping at the bathroom.

The investigators had cleaned everything up in their wake but Helga remembered the vomit in the toilet, yet to be flushed. She remembered the streak of blood smeared on the tile where Miriam's hand had once rested.

Helga stared at the spot where her mother's body had lain.

_"What kind of mother are you, anyway?" _Helga's own voice echoed in her head.

_"You're even more useless than you ever were before!"_

_"You're a drunk and a drug addict. You never made anything of yourself so instead you just make everyone else's lives miserable by being that one thing that always goes wrong. You want to talk about 'putting up' with crap? Try living with you!"_

Helga's eyes narrowed and she rubbed her face before turning the light off and leaving the room.

She walked down the hall to her parents' bedroom and pushed the door open. The room was dark and she turned on a lamp that was stationed on top of her mother's dresser. The light provided the room with a warm glow and Helga scanned her surroundings. The investigators had cleaned up after collecting evidence samples. The vanity glass tabletop was gone and the glass shards had been picked up from the floor. An image of the scattered broken glass crossed her mind. She remembered her mother's favorite drinking glass in pieces on the floor.

Helga sat down at her mother's vanity and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was obviously tired and her hair was flying off in every direction, despite an attempted ponytail.

She just couldn't bring herself to make sense of this. Had Miriam actually killed herself? Helga couldn't speak those words aloud and the moment they dared to cross her mind, she shook her head in the hope of escape.

Why hadn't she done something before? Why hadn't she gotten her mother help? She knew she needed it and yet, she'd just let things continue as they always had. She'd felt pity for Miriam, but her anger and bitterness sometimes overpowered what she knew was right. Now it was too late.

Helga turned around and scanned the bedroom. The bed was still made, never having been slept in that night. As she looked around, Helga noticed a blinking light on the VCR under her parents' television. They never really used the VCR's in the house unless it was to watch old movies that they couldn't watch on DVD.

Curious, Helga walked over and turned the TV on, grabbing the remote control and pressing 'Play'.

Her mother's figure appeared on the screen. She was on a stage, dressed in 17th century, working-class attire. It only took Helga a minute to realize what play this was. She watched intently as her mother owned the stage, a passion evident in one look at her face. Helga had rarely seen that fire.

She watched as her mother began to sing, another talent she never knew Miriam possessed.

_"There was a time when men were kind. When their voices were soft, and their words inviting. There was a time when love was blind, and the world was a song, and the song was exciting. There was a time. Then it all went wrong,"_

Helga sat down on her parents' bed and pulled her feet up to sit cross-legged as she watched the screen.

_"I dreamed a dream in times gone by, when hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that God would be forgiving,"_

Helga could feel tears welling in her eyes but she blinked them away, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

_"Then I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted,"_

As she listened, it began to dawn on the Helga that her mother had probably been watching this tape recently. Maybe she had watched it that day.

_"But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder. As they tear your hope apart, as they turn your dream to shame,"_

Helga fought to keep her face from crumpling as Miriam executed her notes effortlessly and with perfect vibrato. This song spoke too much truth.

_"He slept a summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonder. He took my childhood in his stride, but he was gone when autumn came,"_

Helga took a deep breath, trying to cling to her walls, but with every word her mother sung, she felt herself breaking even more. She imagined Miriam sitting in the same place she was right now, watching herself on the screen. Watching the Miriam that once was.

_"And still I dream he'll come to me, that we'll live the years together. But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather,"_

That was when Helga finally broke. Tears streamed effortlessly down her face and she blinked them away as she tried to see the screen. She grabbed Miriam's pillow and held it close to her chest as her mother's voice filled her ears.

Helga quietly sang along with her mother for the final part of the song, her voice punctured by choking sobs.

_"I had a dream my life would be, so different from this hell I'm living, so different now from what it seemed. Now life has killed the dream I dreamed,"_

As the audience clapped and cheered for Miriam's performance, Helga sobbed, struggling to catch her breath. She buried her face into the pillow, clenching her eyes shut though tears continued to spill from them.

"I'm sorry, Mom,"

**[A/N: The song is "I dreamed a dream" from Les Miserables]**


	15. Chapter 15

**[A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and support through this story! I know the last chapter was pretty emotional - it was actually pretty painful to write, too. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

The next few days were a blur for Helga. The medical examiner hadn't been able to decide whether to rule Miriam's death as "accidental" or a suicide. Olga had come home to help with the viewing and funeral preparations but she spent more time sobbing into the couch cushions than making arrangements. Big Bob hadn't shed a tear since the night the paramedics took Miriam's body away. Both he and Helga had built force-fields around their emotions that no one dared to cross.

Arnold tried to be there for her but she was still quite distant. He understood why she would shut down like that and, though it was difficult, still resolved to be around to support her.

She wouldn't say much and he accepted that. They would watch movies on her laptop but she would only give a blank stare into the distance, her expression unreadable. He tried taking her places to get her out of the house but it was still an endeavor just to get a few words out of her. Most of the time Helga's face was locked in an impenetrable scowl.

It wasn't until one day the issue of Arnold's pills came up once again, resulting in a heated argument that unleashed every pent up thought and feeling Helga had harnessed.

"If your head wasn't always in the clouds—"Helga yelled but stopped herself short, unable to finish her sentence.

Arnold was getting agitated – they'd already been arguing like this for twenty minutes. "I already told you Helga, it wasn't my fault!" He ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep his voice even. "How was I supposed to know?"

"Oh criminy, here we go again!" Helga snapped, rolling her eyes. "Because I don't talk about my _feelings_ enough, right? Well, excuse me for not laying out the details of my shitty life in bullet-form for you!"

"Helga, you know that's not what I mean," Arnold sighed, exasperated. "It was a mistake. You were rushing me upstairs and I –"

"Oh, so it's _my f_ault? It's _my _fault my _mother_ is dead?" Helga's eyes widened and her voice rose in pitch as she spoke those unforgiving words.

"Helga, no, I didn't say—"

"Screw you, Arnold," Helga growled before opening her bedroom door, motioning for him to leave.

Arnold's heart sunk when he heard those words but he knew there was no sense in fighting with her. He was mad and frustrated at her for everything she was saying. Why would she blame this on him? Despite the thick layer of anger, a small voice in his head reminded him she was grieving. Maybe she just needed time.

Arnold gathered his crutches and made his way to the door, stopping in front of Helga for a brief moment. They made eye contact, hiding behind their anger, but never said a word. Arnold crossed through the doorway and once he was clear, Helga slammed the door shut.

. . . . . . . .

"Man," Gerald shook his head as he took a swig of his soda bottle. He and Arnold had met up at the local pizzeria so that Arnold could vent. "I feel for ya, buddy,"

"I just don't know what to do, Gerald," Arnold half-heartedly picked a glob of cheese off of his slice, a long string of mozzarella trailing behind. "I don't want to be mad at her but it's like she's really trying to tear me a new one…"

"I know," Gerald nodded, then took a bite from his own slice. "But here's the thing. You _know _Helga. I mean, heck, I know her well enough to know I don't wanna get caught in the line of fire when she's upset,"

"So you're saying I should stay away from her? I can't do that, Gerald; she's my girlfriend. Her _mom_ just died," Arnold sighed as he plucked a piece of pepperoni off of his slice and stuffed it into his mouth. "I mean, how am I supposed to handle her saying those kinds of things? I wasn't blaming her, I was just trying to tell her—"

"Maybe that's not what she needs right now, Arnold," Gerald dunked the crust of his pizza slice into a small dish of garlic sauce. "I'm not sayin' it's right but maybe she needs that buffer right now. I know it wasn't your fault, and I think she knows it, too. But the thing is, she's gotta come to grips with this her own way, ya know? She's Helga Pataki – she's gonna act like a bitch sometimes—sorry," Gerald raised his hands in defense when Arnold narrowed his eyes. "_But, _at the end of the day we all know how she feels about you. Let her deal with this however she needs to. Just give her time and try to lay low. Be there for her and everything but pick your battles, man,"

Arnold sighed, taking a sip of soda. "So I just take it? I take her name-calling and attitudes and—"

"Exactly," Gerald said emphatically before returning to a more even tone. "For right now, at least – while she's dealin' with this. Just don't let yourself get caught up in a fight,"

Arnold was doubtful. "I don't know Gerald,"

"Hey, you've taken her crap before, right?"

"Yeah…"

"You've done it before, if you love her, you can do it again,"

. . . . . . . .

"I wish I could be there, Helga," Phoebe's voice was a soft wind chime in the phone receiver. "I still can't believe she's gone. When I get back, we can have a sleepover or something, just us, okay?"

Helga sat on her bed, her cell phone becoming moist from the tears that stained her face. "Yeah…okay,"

"And as for Arnold, I think if you apologize to him, everything will be fine," Phoebe reassured her best friend as the sound of cars threatened to drown her out. She was in the car with her family for their last road trip of the summer. "Arnold loves you,"

Helga wiped her face with the back of her hand and sniffled, taking in a staggered breath. "Ugh, I know. Why did I have to be so freaking mean to him, Pheebs?"

"You're emotional. And it's perfectly understandable given your circumstances. He knows that. But Helga you have to realize that if you always push people away, you only have yourself to blame for your loneliness,"

Helga was quiet. She knew Phoebe was right.

. . . . . . . .

Later that evening, Helga was watching TV on her laptop when her cell phone vibrated on the bed next to her.

**New message: Arnold 3**

She stared hard at the screen for a minute before letting out a breath and opening the message.

**Can we talk?**

Helga quickly typed back.

**Sure.**

A moment later, the phone rang.

"Hey,"

"Helga? Hey, I… I want you to know I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have fought with you. I know you're going through a lot right now and I'm really sorry about your mom,"

Arnold paused but Helga remained quiet.

"I guess it just kinda hurt to hear you say those things..." Arnold sighed. "But, I want you to know that I never meant for anything to happen – I never even realized how bad things were. And I want you to know you can talk to me about anything. That's what I'm here for,"

Helga was silent for a moment before she spoke, "I'm sorry, too," Her voice cracked and she paused to compose herself. "I don't wanna be the bitchy girlfriend –"

"You're not!" Arnold interrupted. "I understand what—"

"I still crossed a line, Football-head. Would you let me apologize?" Helga waited for Arnold's silence before continuing quietly. "I know it wasn't your fault. And I know I have a long way to go with my own issues, okay?" Another pause. "I'm sorry,"

"It's okay," Arnold's calm voice soothed. "Do you wanna get some ice cream with me?"

Helga blinked back tears and nodded, despite the fact Arnold couldn't see her. "Yeah, we can do that,"

"Okay, I'll meet you in an hour. And Helga?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you,"

Helga took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out in one long exhale. "I love you, too,"

. . . . . . . .

Helga sat quietly at her desk, chocolate ice cream still digesting in her stomach. Her evening with Arnold had been sweet – they didn't talk much but it felt good to have the air clear. She hated fighting with him and she knew he genuinely cared.

She and her family had been going through all of Miriam's belongings over the past couple days. Every item they found that recounted her glorious past felt like a piece of glass lodging itself in Helga's heart. Olga could barely handle anything – the minute they started to go through photo albums or pull out trinkets and knick-knacks, she became overwhelmed with emotions and incoherent.

Helga ran her fingers across the dark brown material of her mother's weathered journal. She hesitated to open it, afraid of the secrets it may reveal. When she found it in the back of one of Miriam's dresser drawers, she made sure to hide it from view as she snuck past Big Bob and Olga to her bedroom.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever revelation lay ahead as she opened the cover. The pages were yellowing and worn from heavy use and she could barely read some of the writing due to sporadic instances of water damage.

Helga intended to read everything the journal had to offer but she was curious to know what was written on the last page. Maybe that could reveal something - anything - about what had gone through Miriam's head.

When she turned to the most recent entry, her breath caught in her throat as she realized the date. It was the day of their last fight – when Miriam took Arnold's pills and Helga blew up at her. Helga's eyes brimmed with tears as she read her mother's words.

_I've done it again. What kind of mother am I, anyway? I'm sick of living like this but I don't know how to change things anymore. I feel like I've slipped off the edge of some great cliff and I keep falling and falling, never reaching the bottom and never feeling anything but the panic of having no control. I'm lost in this world I'm living in and I just want to feel something. I know I shouldn't have taken those pills but I only took a few and gave the bottle back._

_Oh but Helga… I wish she knew how sorry I was. I have so many regrets that I struggle with every day. I know I've been a terrible mother to her and she deserved so much more than what I am. I know it doesn't mean much coming from me but I really do admire her… she's so much stronger than I ever was. I know she won't follow in my footsteps. I hate myself for what I've become and what I've put her through… I've never been able to protect her. She deserves so much… she doesn't need me._

Helga closed the journal, tears swiftly sliding down her face and neck, plopping onto her lap. She furrowed her brow and in a fit of rage, chucked the journal across the room toward her bed. Anger billowed up inside of her and the only thing she saw fit to do was scream. In one swift motion, she swung her arm out, knocking her desk lamp to the floor. The glass bulb shattered when it made contact with the floor but Helga didn't care.

"I_ did_ need you, Mom!" Helga screamed angrily into the air as tears stung her eyes. "I needed you every. Freaking. Day!" She slammed a fist down onto the desk.

Helga hiccupped, trying to steady her rapid breathing to no avail. "So, it was better to just leave me?" Helga called out again, her voice breaking. "Just, ya know… 'Adios, amigos' and LEAVE!?"

She crossed her arms on the desk and buried her face as her tears flowed freely for a minute.

Her brow furrowed, she stood up and angrily kicked her desk chair away from her as she let out yet another painful yell.

"So, this is how you make things better for me? By _DYING_?" Helga's head was spinning and her anger was quickly dwindling into despair. "Great idea, Miriam. Just great. I hope you're happy now!"

Helga barely choked out the words before she fell to her knees in a sob. Face to the floorboards, her hair fell down around her and blocked her view of anything but the hardwood floor in front of her. Individual strands of hair that had come in contact with her tears were now sticking to her face and she impatiently pushed them away.

Helga clenched her eyes tight as she tried unsuccessfully to stop crying. Her adrenaline draining, she felt strangely calm and her breathing slowed.

"I did need you, Mom,"


	16. Chapter 16

**[A/N: Hey guys! I just started school again so that's a bummer on my time BUT the good news is I finally have the rest of this story basically outlined so I know where we're going and how I'm taking you there! I hope everyone has enjoyed this story so far and I hope I have kept everything in character for you all. That's a big thing I always strive for. Anywho, after this chapter there will be ONE chapter remaining of the story. Yes, the finale is upon us. But, after the finale, there WILL be an epilogue and I think you'll enjoy that one. I would say that that's the finale because I'm gonna love it so much but I think it makes more sense to call it an epilogue. Anyway, enough babbling. Here's the chapter.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

With all of the chaos going on with Helga's mom, Arnold had yet to talk to his parents about his desire to stay in Hillwood. Outside the sky was overcast and the forecast was calling for intermittent periods of rain all day. That could be a relief considering how hot it'd been lately.

Arnold reached for the crutches nearby and reluctantly left the comfort of his bed. His hair was ruffled and his lids were heavy from sleep. He yawned and scratched the back of his head before making his way to the closet to get dressed for the day.

Downstairs, Miles and Stella sat at the table eating the remainder of their scrambled eggs and toast when Arnold hobbled into the room.

"Good morning, sunshine," Stella said with a smirk, noting Arnold's half-asleep expression.

"Hey Mom,"

Miles took a sip of his orange juice. "Grab yourself some breakfast, Arnold. There's plenty left over in the kitchen,"

Upon fixing his own plate, Arnold returned to the table with his parents and sat down.

Arnold braced himself for his parent's reaction as he brought up the topic of San Lorenzo.

"Mom? Dad?" His parents looked up. "I was wondering… when were you guys planning on going back to San Lorenzo?"

They looked at each other briefly before Miles spoke, "Well, son, we hadn't quite decided on that yet,"

"You still need time to recuperate from your surgery," Stella added, placing a gentle hand on Arnold's forearm.

"Why do you ask?" Miles asked as he wiped his face with a napkin and dropped it on the now empty plate. "Anxious to go home?"

Arnold rubbed the back of his neck as he scooted a piece of scrambled egg across the plate with his fork. "Well, actually," Arnold took a deep breath. "Actually, I was hoping I could just stay here… in Hillwood,"

Miles and Stella exchanged looks, gauging each other's reaction.

After a moment of quiet, Stella spoke, "Are you sure, honey?"

"Yeah, I mean, I was hoping to come back here for college next year, anyway. I just figured that since I'm already here, I'd rather stay and do it now… or as soon as I can," Arnold relaxed a little; his parents didn't seem upset by his request. "I didn't realize how much I missed being here until I came back. I love San Lorenzo and I understand if you guys have to go back to work with the Green-Eyed People but I was hoping I could apply to Hillwood University and start in the Spring,"

Arnold darted his gaze back and forth between his parents as they communicated nonverbally with one another.

Miles nodded at Stella and she turned back to him.

"If that's what you'd like to do, then we're right behind you,"

Arnold beamed. "Really?" He leaned forward on the table in excitement as his parents smiled. "Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!"

. . . . . . . .

"Great job, Arnold!" John encouraged as Arnold made it to the end of the parallel bars.

Helga was off to the side, smiling at Arnold's progress. He had told her she didn't need to come today, considering everything that was going on at home, but she had insisted. She needed to get out of the house and get her mind off of everything.

John patted Arnold on the back. "Let's take a break from the bars for now so you can do some stretches. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sure," Arnold smiled, feeling proud of himself as his physical therapist walked away. Every day Arnold's strength and endurance improved. He still used the crutches as a precaution but his ability to get around without them had greatly improved. At long last, Arnold was slowly starting to feel his independence returning.

Arnold positioned himself on one of the lowered beds to run through his stretching routine as Helga sat on the floor, a foot lower than him.

"So," Arnold began as he reached for his toes, stretching his hamstrings. "There's something I wanna tell you,"

Helga's ears pricked up. "Oh yeah?"

"Yup," Arnold grinned.

After a pause, Helga impatiently asked, "Well, are you gonna tell me or what?"

"I talked to my parents this morning… about staying in Hillwood," He let his words hang in the air just long enough to torture her.

Helga leaned in toward him, "_And?_"

"They're fine with it," He flashed a small smile at her but was caught off-guard when she jumped up at him, enveloping him in a thorough bear-hug. "I think I'll work on my application to Hillwood University tonight,"

"Arnold, that is the best news ever," Helga finally let go of him and sat down on the bed by his side. "If you need any help with all that application crap, just ask,"

Arnold quickly darted his gaze around the room to make sure no one was paying attention to them. There were only a couple other people in the room, both of whom had their backs turned.

Without warning, he moved in to leave a brief peck on Helga's lips.

"Thanks, Helga,"

. . . . . . . .

That night, Helga was in her bedroom going through a box of Miriam's old stuff. Most of her belongings had been packed together and cardboard boxes sat in the hallway, ready to be taken up to the attic. Helga had dragged one into her room and was going through a couple photo albums; one from the box and another from the living room.

She sat cross-legged on the floor with both albums open in front of her as various other items from her mother's box formed a circle around her.

She flipped through page after page. In one album, she found pictures from various family outings. Of course she was always scowling, but she wasn't paying attention to that – she was analyzing Miriam in each photograph. Her tired eyes, hands clutching another drink as Big Bob and Olga grinned like Cheshire cats for the camera. In the other album, Helga found old pictures of her mother – some from what looked like a bull-riding tournament, others from a swimming competition. The light from a former star, shining through these pictures, had been extinguished, leaving only a black hole of depression in its place.

"She was somethin', eh?"

Helga whipped her head around to see Big Bob leaning against her door frame. She turned back around without a word as her father walked over.

He crouched down by the albums and picked up a stray photo, staring long and hard.

"I know you never really knew that side of her," Big Bob gently brushed his finger against the picture, staring into Miriam's shining eyes. "But man, she could do everything…"

He set the picture back down on the floor as Helga watched him with curious eyes.

"I wish I could say I did something to help her," Big Bob clasped his hands together as he stared at the paneled floor. "I knew she had problems but I didn't wanna face it. Heck," He paused. "I was probably one of them,"

Helga furrowed her brow and looked away from him, focusing her gaze on a picture of a beaming Miriam holding a prize medal up in one hand.

"She, uh," Big Bob stumbled awkwardly over his words. "She really loved you… even if, ya know… she wasn't always there,"

Helga picked up Miriam's photo and held it delicately in her hands. "I just wish I knew her…"

Big Bob let out a deep breath. "And that's probably my fault… Ya gotta understand, girl, I'm just not… I'm not good with _feelings_ and stuff," He grimaced at the word 'feelings'. "I was an idiot," Big Bob paused, turning one of the older photo albums toward him so that he could see it better. "It's my own fault I lost the best thing I ever had," He pushed the album back into position and let out another breath. "And she didn't even know it… _I _didn't know it,"

. . . . . . . .

Later that night, one of the detectives from Miriam's case called to speak to Big Bob about his wife's cause of death. The medical examiner had finally come back with a conclusion.

Helga stood on the steps, poking her head around the wall when she heard her father pick up the phone. Realizing who it was, she bolted upstairs and into her room, shutting the door behind her. She carefully picked up the receiver to her phone, holding a hand over the mouthpiece so she could listen, undetected.

"…almost inconclusive. I know you were informed about the two possible causes of your wife's death, Mr. Pataki. The M.E. came back earlier this evening with a final decision and I felt it would be best to inform the family," Said the voice on the other end.

"So, what is it?" Big Bob's gruff voice came through the phone.

"Based on the specifics of the case, the M.E. decided to rule it accidental. There's evidence suggesting it could have been an accidental overdose or suicide but the vomit in the toilet and on your wife's hand suggest that she herself had induced vomiting. Also, the M.E. found that her uvula was extremely irritated which further supports that theory…"

Helga slowly put the phone down and sat on her bed in a heap. The realization crept across her mind like a sigh of relief while her heart became heavier and heavier.

_She didn't want to die. She wanted to live._

. . . . . . . .

It was late at night when Helga hung up the phone. She'd been talking to Arnold for a couple hours and finally felt a sliver of relief at finally being able to say everything she'd wanted to say. She'd found herself re-hashing detail after detail of her home life, going as far back as she could remember. She explained Miriam's drinking problem: all of the DUI's; all of the time her license had been revoked; all of the missed birthdays, plays, milestones. She told Arnold about how it felt to feel unwanted and alone, unloved and rejected: living in the shadow of her older sister as her father barely acknowledged her existence. She told Arnold about the first day they met on that rainy day in preschool and _why _he had meant so much to her throughout the years. She also told him about everything Big Bob had said to her that day and the new information they'd received from the medical examiner.

Helga had been lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling as she reflected on the conversation with Arnold. As an idea struck, Helga rolled out of bed, securing her loose blonde mane into a low ponytail. She trudged over to her desk and sat down, wiping the remaining tears from her face before pulling out a small notebook. Its cover was a medium shade of pink with the word 'Journal' embossed on the front. Inside, its pages were blank and crisp, never having been touched. Until now.

Helga flipped the switch on her new desk lamp, the old one now a broken memory in the trashcan outside. With a pen in hand and a message in her heart, Helga began to write.


	17. Chapter 17

**[A/N: Hello all! This is the last *normal* chapter to the story! There WILL be an epilogue so keep an eye out for that very, very soon! I hope you all have enjoyed the story! I'd love to hear what you thought about it in the reviews.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

Miriam's funeral was held a few days later on a temperate summer morning. Members of Helga's extended family, as well as a number of Miriam's old friends, now gathered in the sanctuary of a small church on the outskirts of Hillwood.

Looking around, Helga barely recognized most of the people there but there were some familiar faces. Olga and Big Bob sat in the pew in front of her. Olga was weeping incessantly into a tissue as Big Bob leaned forward, resting his forearms against his knees with his hands clasped and gaze cast down.

Arnold sat beside Helga with a comforting arm draped across her shoulders. He had left his crutches at home, finally feeling comfortable enough to leave the house without them. He walked with a limp but as long as he was careful, he could manage. Helga leaned her head against Arnold's shoulder, the fabric of his suit feeling rough against her skin. Her face was solemn and she had fought off as many tears as she could. She avoided looking up at the very front of the church where a casket containing Miriam's body rested.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Phoebe gently put her hand on Helga's arm.

Helga turned to her best friend with a sigh, "I'll be fine, Pheebs,"

Phoebe simply nodded.

She'd spent the night at Helga's last night for moral support. Helga had a lot of things she needed to get off her chest and she'd chosen to do so through her writing. Phoebe knew was Helga was prepared to do and hoped her life-long best friend had the strength to go through with it.

Helga barely paid attention when the pastor spoke. She pulled the folded up piece of paper out of her bra – the most convenient storage space when she had to wear a dress and was without pockets. She took a deep breath, waiting for the moment.

A few people went up to the pulpit to speak – telling stories of happy memories with Miriam and speaking on behalf of her character. Everyone in the room was already pretty emotional when Helga got her cue to approach.

Arnold rubbed her back as she prepared to stand up, all eyes watching as she made her way to the front of the church. She climbed up into the pulpit and tilted the microphone toward her.

"Uh," Helga cleared her throat. "Can you hear me?"

Upon receiving a few nods from the crowd, she continued.

"I, uh… Well, I'm pretty sure you all know who I am. Miriam-" Helga paused to slow her breathing as she noticed her quickening pace. "Miriam was my mother and… Well, I wrote something…"

Helga unfolded the piece of paper and cleared her throat, beginning to read.

"_Who is this woman that I never knew?  
A blazing star in the distant night sky.  
Never imagined the stories were true,  
I never knew, and I didn't ask why,"_

Helga looked up to gauge the reaction of her audience. She'd never read one of her poems to anyone before.

_"Fallen from grace, untold stories of youth,  
my bitter heart only held resentment.  
Gone for birthdays, when I lost my first tooth,"_

Helga shrugged, trying to appear humorous but the pain in her eyes was evident. She continued the last line of the verse with a more somber tone.

_"Background shadow for whom I now lament…_

_When shining stars die, they become black holes,  
falling prey to demons, hiding the past.  
I hated every moment that they stole,  
but I hope you've found peace at last,"_

A single tear ran down Helga's face but she furrowed her brow and wiped it away. With a deep breath, she finished her poem.

_"I forgive you… for times you couldn't be there.  
Forgive me, too, Mom…" _

Helga paused. _"I really did care,"_

. . . . . . . .

Helga lucked out, getting a relatively large dorm room for her freshman year in college. Her roommate, Natasha, and Natasha's boyfriend had left to go to the store, leaving Helga with Arnold and Big Bob.

The room consisted of two beds, two large armoires, and two desks, not including all of the boxes, crates, and random smaller pieces of furniture Helga and Natasha had brought. A small bathroom connected their dorm room to the one next door and a window over Helga's bed provided a view of the street below.

Arnold and Big Bob had helped Helga move into her dorm earlier in the afternoon and by the time they finished getting everything inside and situated, the sun was beginning to set.

Arnold sat at Helga's desk, trying to get her laptop connected to the campus internet as Big Bob put together Helga's new storage tower. Meanwhile, Helga was going through a box full of clothes and putting them in the armoire.

"Alright, that does it," Big Bob said as he snapped the last remaining piece of the storage tower into place. "You're all set,"

Helga had been surprised at her father's willingness to help out with moving on campus. He'd even agreed to pick up Arnold and drop him off back at the boarding house when all was said and done. Maybe this was a sign of better things to come. He only grumbled when she offered her thanks but it was a start. Once Arnold got Helga's laptop connected to the campus wifi, the only thing left to do was for Helga to unpack the rest of her belongings.

Big Bob turned to Arnold, "I'll be in the car, just don't make me wait forever and a day,"

"No problem, Mr. Pataki," Arnold smiled but Big Bob's gruff exterior never faltered.

Helga approached her dad, feeling awkward as to how they should interact. "Uh, thanks, Dad,"

Big Bob nodded, feeling just as awkward, and gave her a brisk pat on the shoulder before he walked out.

Helga walked over to her perfectly-made bed and flopped down onto it face-first, knowing full well it wasn't going to stay like that for very long.

"I guess this is it," Arnold made his way over to the bed and sat down next to her as she turned her head to look up at him. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, Football-head," Helga smirked. "I'll be fine and you'll be here, too. Maybe even as soon as next semester," She shrugged.

"Hopefully," Arnold smiled. "Hey Helga?"

"Yeah?"

Arnold looked down. "Before I go, I just want to make sure you know something,"

Helga raised her eyebrows expectantly and Arnold returned his gaze to her.

"You know I'm always here for you. If you need anything or get stressed out, you know where to find me. I never really talked about it in too much detail but everything you did for me at the beginning of the summer, well, I really appreciated it. There were a lot of points where I got so frustrated with everything; the pain in my leg and not being able to walk… And I was scared, too. I tried to stay optimistic, and I didn't always tell you, but it all bothered me a lot more than you know. I've never faced anything like that before but you stayed by my side the whole time. I just want you to know how much that meant to me,"

Helga grabbed Arnold by the sleeve of his T-shirt and pulled him close, leaving a tender kiss on his lips. "I'd do it all over again," She smiled, then added, "But _don't _do that again. I don't take kindly to you scaring the crap out of me,"

"I'll try not to," Arnold chuckled and stood up, surveying the room to make sure there wasn't anything left to do. "I guess I'll head out now,"

"Yeah, you don't wanna keep Big Bob waiting," Helga teased.

Arnold leaned against the bed with one hand, caressing the side of Helga's face with the other as he delivered a parting kiss that lasted a few moments. Helga wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him in a tight hug but they finally released one another.

"I'll call you later tonight," Arnold said with a lovesick grin on his face as he headed toward the door.

Helga batted her eyelashes playfully before smirking, "I'll be counting the seconds,"

Arnold laughed and rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say, Helga,"

. . . . . . . .

It had been about an hour since Arnold left and Helga was still alone. She'd made significant progress putting everything away when she stumbled upon something unexpected. As she opened another box of clothing, she found a CD lying on the very top.

The case was void of any labels but inside, the CD itself had the words "To Helga, From Mom" written in Sharpie. A piece of notebook paper fell out when Helga opened the case and she reached down to pick it up.

_Helga –_

_I found this when we were going through your mother's stuff. She made it when you were just a kid. Maybe you were still a baby, I don't remember. Either way, I figured you should have it._

_-Dad _

Helga sat down at her desk and plucked the CD out of the case, sliding it into the drive for her laptop. She turned up her speakers to listen as her mother's voice suddenly filled the room. It felt strange hearing Miriam's voice without the dismal slurring that normally accompanied it.

_"My sweet baby girl. I hope you always know how special you are. You're just a little thing now but I know you'll grow up to do amazing things. Never let anyone hold you back and never be afraid to chase your dreams,"_

There was some shuffling in the background as Miriam paused.

_"When I heard this song for the first time, I thought of you. I hope you take these words to heart. I love you, Helga,"_

There was another pause before the background static cut out and a song began to play.

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,  
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger.  
May you never take one single breath for granted,  
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed._

Helga scooted her chair closer to the desk, resting her head in one hand.

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,  
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

_I hope you dance...I hope you dance._

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,  
Never settle for the path of least resistance.  
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin',  
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin'.  
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,  
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider.  
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

_I hope you dance...I hope you dance.  
I hope you dance...I hope you dance.  
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,  
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)._

At this point, Helga noticed silent tears making their way down her face and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens.  
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

_Dance...I hope you dance._

_I hope you dance...I hope you dance.  
I hope you dance...I hope you dance…  
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along  
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)._

The song ended after an instrumental outro and Helga let out a deep sigh.

"I will, Mom," She breathed. "I love you, too."

**[A/N: And there you have it! The epilogue will take place a little farther in the future and will serve to tie up a few loose ends so make sure you check that out! I can't believe how much attention this story has gotten and I'm so thankful to everyone who enjoyed it and faithfully reviewed. I love hearing what you all think of my writing; it means a lot. :) See ya soon!**

**BTW: The song was "I hope you dance" by LeAnn Womack]**


	18. Epilogue

**[A/N: Here it is! The epilogue! The story is finally over! Thank you so much to everyone who showed this story so much love. I'm glad I was able to entertain you guys and I'm amazed at how many people have gotten into this fic. I hope you enjoy the epilogue and leave me a review to let me know how I did. :) You're all awesome.**

**I don't own Hey Arnold]**

It was hard to believe her time at Hillwood University would soon be over. Helga was 22 and a senior now, starting her final semester of college. A lot had changed over the past few years and at this point, it felt like a blur. It seemed like only yesterday that she'd been moving into her first freshman dorm room and now, only twenty minutes prior, she'd submitted her application for graduation.

Her relationships with her family had continued their gradual improvement. Big Bob was never going to be the most emotionally approachable man but he was making a conscious effort to get to know Helga better. Olga wasn't around very much since she no longer lived in the state but when they did see each other, Helga did her best to be patient with her.

Arnold started taking classes at Hillwood University at the beginning of Helga's sophomore year. He had been able to go off of his pain medication a year beforehand and he'd made incredible strides in his physical therapy treatment. He was able to walk around without the use of crutches and though he still had a limp, it was barely noticeable. He didn't have the same stamina he once had but that was a minor inconvenience when he thought about how bad his initial injury and prognosis had been. As she'd promised, Helga came to physical therapy with him as often as she could. Once classes began, she wasn't able to make it to every one of his appointments but she still tried.

Arnold's parents went back to San Lorenzo for a while to complete their work with the Green-Eyed People before returning to Hillwood to settle down. Arnold had been pretty nervous the whole time they were gone; considering what had happened the last time they left for San Lorenzo without him, it was understandable. Helga did everything she could to take his mind off of it when he got too wrapped up in his own thoughts. When they finally came back last year, Arnold felt the weight of worry lift off of his shoulders.

Helga and Arnold went through a few rough patches, even breaking up for a few months at one point. Their conflicting personalities led to a lot of arguments and during the middle of Helga's sophomore year, they decided to take a break. During that time, Helga experimented with various clubs and organizations on campus including the jujitsu club, a drama club, and the council of English majors.

One Friday night, sometime after ten, Helga walked back to her dorm room from a jujitsu club meeting. Sweat made her forehead sticky and the hair around her hairline clung to her face as the majority of it was captured in a loose ponytail. Dressed in a 'gi', she felt exhausted and beat-up – and it felt good. She'd had a good night that night, managing to choke out two guys much larger than her during the grappling hour. She was desperately craving a shower so that she could wash off her sweat as well as the sweat of everyone she fought that night. That's when she found Arnold sitting on the floor outside of her room.

Helga made him wait in her room as she took a quick shower. Afterwards, he told her how much he'd missed her and that he felt like an idiot for thinking he didn't want to be with her. They talked long into the night but by morning, they had made up and remained strong ever since.

Breaking up felt like a surreal and distant memory given the circumstances. Two weeks ago, Arnold had slept over at Helga's dorm. Her roommate wasn't there very often because she had a boyfriend of her own and chose to stay with him most nights. Thus, Helga had the room to herself pretty frequently.

They'd been lying in bed, initially chatting about their days but the conversation gradually became more serious as they discussed their dreams for the future. Helga wanted to write a memoir about her life and was hoping to get into graduate school. She'd applied for a social work program out of state and would be hearing from them in the next couple months. Arnold still had another year of undergraduate school to finish but he was looking forward to getting his degree in anthropology and studying abroad in Central America, maybe even doing field work in San Lorenzo.

Helga snuggled up close to Arnold as they discussed their innermost thoughts and hopes. She'd finally found a way to fully open up to him and she realized she wasn't as scared as she'd thought she'd be. It actually felt _nice_ to have someone with whom she could share a deeper level of herself.

As they chatted, Arnold played with Helga's hands: lacing their fingers together, unlacing them, manipulating each of her fingers and studying them closely. Helga didn't pay much attention until he produced a small string from his pocket and tied it around one of her fingers. She tried to keep her heartbeat from fluttering out of control when he chose to tie the string to her left ring finger. Eventually Arnold stopped playing with her fingers and Helga almost forgot about the string.

As they talked, the conversation moved onto the topic of families, then how they saw their future personal lives, then onto their own current relationship.

"I'd like to have my own family one day, ya know?" Arnold commented.

Helga nodded half-heartedly, "Yeah, I guess…"

Arnold raised his eyebrows. "What? You don't?"

"I mean, it's not that," Helga shifted uncomfortably. "I just, I dunno. I don't know if I'd be very good at that…" Helga sighed. "Sure, things have gotten better but I don't need to tell you I didn't have the greatest role models growing up,"

Arnold cupped a hand gently against her cheek and turned her gaze toward him. "Helga, you'd be perfect," He picked up the forgotten string and fiddled with it in his hand, hoping that Helga couldn't tell how fast his heart was racing.

Helga opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Instead, a soft blush crept across her cheeks and she smiled. "All I know for sure is that I wanna be with _you_,"

Arnold grinned and reached into his pocket again. "I was hoping you'd say something like that,"

Helga's eyes widened and her mouth fell agape when Arnold pulled a beautiful diamond ring out of his pocket and threaded the string through it. He tugged on the string, sending the ring bouncing down toward and onto Helga's finger.

Arnold gulped. "Would you?" He bit his lower lip in anticipation, feeling the weight of the situation on his shoulders. He rubbed the back of his neck as Helga stared at her hand, dumbstruck. "I mean, I know we have to finish school but –"

"Yes," She said under her breath, still staring at her hand in stunned disbelief.

"What?" Arnold's eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Did I _stutter_, Loverboy?" Helga smirked before her expression morphed into an uncontainable grin.

Arnold immediately wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug and kissed her multiple times on the top of her head.

They weren't in a rush to make wedding plans yet but figured they'd like to wait until Arnold finished his senior year. It didn't matter to Helga – the fact she was engaged to Arnold had her feeling completely over-the-moon. He had always been her rock and she couldn't imagine herself with anyone else for the rest of her life. She'd spent enough time without him around while he was in San Lorenzo and when they broke up to really figure out who she was apart from him. That being said, there was still something about him that made her feel complete, as if they were two parts of the same whole. Even though they would get into arguments sometimes, their differences complemented one another and when they _realized_ that, they became stronger.

Helga truly wanted the best for Arnold and he wanted the same for her. She helped him to approach situations realistically and with a more scrutinizing outlook when needed and he helped her to learn how to be vulnerable with another person. He helped her develop confidence in herself and in her abilities, as well as to try new things.

That's how she came to be sitting behind the curtain of the University Center auditorium. Arnold knew how much Helga had enjoyed the drama club and had encouraged her to come here today. In fact, as soon as he heard that the Musical Theater club was having auditions for this particular musical, he had become hell-bent on getting Helga to audition. Albeit, Helga had taken a liking to being part of "the theater", she wasn't so sure about this. It was one thing to act out a part; it was another thing to sing it. But Arnold and his darned powers of persuasion got her here and she knew she needed to do this – if not only to shut him up but also for herself.

Helga sat in a chair, twiddling her thumbs and waiting to be called out onto the stage. She was the last person scheduled to audition and she'd watched as the number of people backstage with her dwindled until she was finally alone.

She heard the musical directors clapping for the person currently on stage and Helga knew her time was coming up. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves but she could feel the hair on her arms standing on-end and her hands trembled slightly. She hated singing in front of people even though Arnold said he liked her voice. Sometimes when she was alone and singing to herself, he'd creep up on her, making sure she didn't notice him. When she finally caught him listening to her, she'd smack him hard, but playfully, on the shoulder. That didn't seem to faze him, though.

Doing this wasn't only going to be hard because of her insecurities; taking this opportunity also meant getting some form of closure. The reason she wanted to run away was the same reason she needed to do this. Her only wistful regret was that Miriam wouldn't be able to see her take this chance. Still, she felt compelled to go through with it, despite her apprehension.

"Helga Pataki?" A voice called from the other side of the curtain.

Helga gathered herself and took a deep breath before walking out onto the stage.

The bright spotlights felt hot against her skin and she blinked a few times, trying to focus on the few individuals who served as her audiences.

As much as she felt uncertain, she also felt an inner strength grow as she did her best to take charge of the situation. Acting was fun sometimes; she'd been in a few plays in her younger years in addition to her experience with the drama club. But for some reason, this was more important. This meant closure over what felt like a void in her life. She was doing this not only for herself, but also for Miriam, and that was what made her stronger.

"So, Ms. Pataki," the director, a stout man with dark curly hair, addressed her from the front row. "What role will you be auditioning for today?"

Helga cleared her throat and slowly let out a breath as a sense of calm finally washed over her.

"I'll be auditioning for the role of Fantine."

**[A/N: THE END! By the way, in case anyone didn't get what I did there... Fantine is the character in Les Miserables that sang "I dreamed a dream". In other words, the character that Miriam played once upon a time ago. Sorry, I just felt the need to make sure that was clear lol. Again, thank you all so much for following my story and I hope you enjoyed this final segment! :) ]**


	19. Author's Note

**Hey guys,**

**This is just a note for you guys. I just wanted to send out another thank you to everyone who supported me through writing this story. While I was writing this fic, I was also dealing with family problems. It was after I wrote about Miriam's death that I experienced a death in my own family. I poured a lot of those emotions into wrapping up WMYS and it means so much that I seem to have touched some hearts in the process. Writing is an amazing creative and emotional outlet and the support you all provide is indescribable. **

**Obviously, I haven't updated anything/written any new stories for a while but don't worry! I have a LOT of ideas swimming around in my brain but I'm gonna wait until I have a little more time to flesh them out before I get back to writing. I have at least 4 project ideas right now so once the semester is over, look out!**

**Once again, you're all amazing and I just wanted to let you know.**

**-MuffinLove03 **


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